Love letter to a baby

Dear Baby,

this is you at 11.5 weeks. I know it's early to start a dialogue with you but I really wanted to tell a bit about your big brother.

But first I want to say that it was such a relief to finally confirm that you were in my tummy this morning. When the Ultrasound technician was first taking measurements and probing around with the thingy they use, I tried to read her face. She was virtually expression-less. I could hardly breathe from the anxiety I was feeling. I mean I knew you were in there but you can't imagine the worry that goes through a pregnant woman's mind especially these first few months. So when she finally turned the screen toward me and I could see your glorious little form in my sac I wanted to laugh and cry. I exhaled and silently thanked God for you.

Anyway, back to your big brother. Just a few things. We're trying to get him prepped for your arrival. I figure it's not too early. We have our work cut out for us though. For instance, I've told him several times that you are a baby in my tummy. But later when I ask him where the baby is, he insists on pointing to himself and saying baby. Don't worry though, I think this could work itself out with a lot of repitition on my part. Also, your Dad and I have begun the arduous task of teaching him about sharing. I gotta be honest with you - he's not all that into it. But we know how important this will be for your arrival so we won't give up.

And Baby, we don't by any means want to encourage competition between you and your brother. We already know that we love you just as infinitely as we do him. However, if you feel strongly about defeating him on a few things may we suggest that you make your debut as a champion sleeper. It would raise a few eyebrows and the way we see it, it could be a win for all of us. No pressure though.

I also wanted to include you in this letter to celebrate with me the eve of your big brother's 23 month birthday. In a month and a day he will be two. I don't want to say I can't believe it because frankly I don't remember a time when I didn't know him. Okay I do remember but life seemed to have become exponentially more joyful since he came into our lives. After you establish your place here (and you can count on your Dad and me to help you with this) I think you will really like your big bro. He's pretty funny and has a wonderful heart.

Love always,
Mommy.

God woke me up

I've been soooooooo tired and feeling unbelievably nauseated and that's why I haven't posted lately. I'm sure some of you have guessed that I am pregnant. I'm only about nine weeks along and sadly already almost into maternity clothes. My body seems to have been just waiting for this chance to pop back into form. And as I had imagined, it is tricky business being pregnant with a busy toddler.

Oh and the busy toddler? He's been sick too. On Tuesday we stood in line for the H1N1 vaccine - here in Canada they are offering it to high risk groups first. Since Deaglan is between six months and five years he fit into this category. So with a little planning on Shaune's part we were able to get through the line-up within an hour. I was going to brag about this to all of you but then the events of a few days later changed my mind. Back to that in a minute.

That night after he was vaccinated, he developed a low-grade fever. We were warned that this might happen so I gave him some Motrin and tucked him into bed. I did my usual check a few hours later to make sure he had enough blankets and wasn't hanging off of the side of his bed and his temperature was fine.

At two in the morning I woke up out of a very sound sleep to music playing through the baby monitor. It was the first song on a CD that Deaglan falls asleep to every night (some lovely lullabies on a Fisher Price CD). I looked at the alarm clock to see if maybe our power had gone out making everything restart when it came back. Nope. I felt paralyzed. There was no good reason that the music would be playing. Deaglan would have had to find his step-stool in the dark and find the play button for this to make any sense. The CD player was new - just two months old. Stupid, scary thoughts raced through my mind. Kidnapping. But what kind of a kidnapper presses play before leaving?? I pulled my act together and went into Deaglan's room.

Everything was in order. Except that my little monkey boy was burning up with fever. I ran downstairs for some ice water and baby Tylenol. I barely slept after that checking on him every hour or so. I called in sick for the next two days - I have a wonderful understanding employment situation. By 2:30 that following afternoon, I packed us up and headed to Emergency. I couldn't keep the fever down alternating between Tylenol and Motrin every three hours. We were there for several hours. And every time someone would come by the bed to take Deaglan's temperature or check his other vitals he would cry and say All done, all done.

I think he's on the mend now. God works in mysterious ways though don't you think??