I rarely struggle
with my faith anymore.
I feel
certain that God is okay with my buffet approach to His Kingdom. I pick what I
like from each religion I encounter and add it to my plate. I hardly ever feel
the need to justify the various snack sized portions I choose to take in.
After all,
I was born on the other side of the world to devout Muslims and less than a
decade later was learning about Jesus at Catholic school in Canada. The change
in exposure did nothing to change who I really am. This truth has always quieted me in the face
of religious debate. I feel a deep connection to God and sense that He doesn’t
care how I label it.
Recently,
however, my smorgasbord belief system was tested.
Halfway
through Heaven is for real one
evening, Deaglan came into the family room.
I explained what I was watching and told him he should watch too. As
always, he had 57 questions. He doesn’t quite understand the concept of
non-animated television.
“Is this happening
somewhere right now?” “Are these people
real?” “Did that guy just say the F word??”
I explained
again that TV is mostly a person with a camera filming people who are
pretending...someone has a story idea and asks people to act out that story in
front of a video camera.
It gets trickier when the movie is based on true
events. Our conversation about this particular movie went something
like this:
Did that boy really go to heaven?
Well, yes, from what he says, it sounds like
that’s where he went.
So this movie happened in real life?
Ummm, yes.
That boy right there went to heaven?
Well, not him, but someone like him.
More
complicated than explaining the difference between the movie and real life versions
though, was knowing how to respond to my son’s pointed questions about my faith.
Mom, do you believe Heaven looks like that, the
way the boy says it does?
Ummm...yup, I think so.
Should I believe it too?
If you like that idea. Do you like that idea?
I think I do. Does everybody go to Heaven?
Well...if they believe in it, I guess.
I felt
Shaune's eyebrow shoot up from across the room. I shot back a look that I hoped said obviously I mean that if the concept of
Heaven is not real for you then you might not care about going there after you
die!
Okay then, I want to believe it too...Will I
see Great Gramma Mac and Judge and Crash in Heaven?
Yes.
But what about you and Dad? Will I see you
there?
My son’s
voice was no longer inquisitive. It had taken on something close to desperation.
Yes of course you will!
But if you look different in heaven (the boy in the movie saw his
grandfather not as the old man he was before he died, but as a young man), how will I find you?
His heart
broke open then. He cried heavy hot tears into my chest; hugged me tightly.
I won’t be able to find you! How will we find
each other in Heaven?!?
Hey, shhhh...it’s okay. You won’t have to look
for me, sweetheart. Daddy and I will be waiting for you. As soon as we know you’re coming, we’ll be standing waiting for you!
Speaking of Heaven, here are some pictures from Naveen's birthday and some from our trip to KOA.
