Two thoughts have been preoccupying me lately. One came from a biography of Gene Simmons of all people. He sort of fascinates me in a revolting way. He said that he has never taken a vacation in his life expounding that when you love what you do you don't need a vacation from it.
I tried to remember when I loved what I did or if I ever loved what I did. Most of my work life was spent in the service industry and I definitely did not love it. I was okay at it though. In particular I was pretty good at bartending. I could remember a customer's name even if he'd only sat at my bar once two years ago. If he came back, I could recall his name and what he had ordered. This combined with my ability to make small talk and disarm people earned me a pretty decent living back then.
I wasn't a wonderful student in highschool, college or university. Just average. And I'm not particularly good at the job I do now. I'm part of a marketing team for the life insurance division of an insurance company. I do alright but I couldn't say I love it.
The other thought that's been taking up some of my thinking time is that we are never taught how to be parents or husbands and wives. It's stunningly lacking in school curriculum and yet they are the most important roles we will ever play in our lifetimes.
I am a learner. It's always been in me. Mostly I'm interested in learning about the psychology of people. And apart from having studied it for four years in university I was always reading tons of books on relationship management, self-help, spirituality, childhood loss and depression.
Then when I found out I was pregnant I devoured books, articles and programs about pregnancy health, fetus development, postpartum health and infancy. It was my steadfast reading that helped prepare me for each new phase of this experience. Recently, I have been focused on literature pertaining to toddlerhood. I feel strongly that good parenting is something that must be learned. I don't believe that it comes naturally. I had never even considered what positive discipline was or what the nutritional needs of a two year old might be let alone how to potty train another human being.
And today while I'm thinking carefully about something the bass player from KISS said, I must also acknowledge that it is a special day for Shaune and me. We've been together for over 10 years now. Some of that time was really rough and we couldn't imagine how we'd ever survive it as a couple. Our friendship seemed to have always pulled us through.
A year ago today I carried my eight month old boy and half a dozen white roses, in my hundred dollar wedding dress and walked up the makeshift aisle we created in our tiny little backyard, and met my best friend who with eyes glistening waited patiently to pledge his vows to me. These things I have become, wife and mother, are never tiresome to me. I may need constant refresher training but I have to admit that in some ways Gene Simmons is right. You don't need a vacation from what you love.
Happy Anniversary Shaune!
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