Monday, 17 August 2009

Gene Simmons may have a point

Two thoughts have been preoccupying me lately. One came from a biography of Gene Simmons of all people. He sort of fascinates me in a revolting way. He said that he has never taken a vacation in his life expounding that when you love what you do you don't need a vacation from it.


I tried to remember when I loved what I did or if I ever loved what I did. Most of my work life was spent in the service industry and I definitely did not love it. I was okay at it though. In particular I was pretty good at bartending. I could remember a customer's name even if he'd only sat at my bar once two years ago. If he came back, I could recall his name and what he had ordered. This combined with my ability to make small talk and disarm people earned me a pretty decent living back then.

I wasn't a wonderful student in highschool, college or university. Just average. And I'm not particularly good at the job I do now. I'm part of a marketing team for the life insurance division of an insurance company. I do alright but I couldn't say I love it.
The other thought that's been taking up some of my thinking time is that we are never taught how to be parents or husbands and wives. It's stunningly lacking in school curriculum and yet they are the most important roles we will ever play in our lifetimes.
I am a learner. It's always been in me. Mostly I'm interested in learning about the psychology of people. And apart from having studied it for four years in university I was always reading tons of books on relationship management, self-help, spirituality, childhood loss and depression.

Then when I found out I was pregnant I devoured books, articles and programs about pregnancy health, fetus development, postpartum health and infancy. It was my steadfast reading that helped prepare me for each new phase of this experience. Recently, I have been focused on literature pertaining to toddlerhood. I feel strongly that good parenting is something that must be learned. I don't believe that it comes naturally. I had never even considered what positive discipline was or what the nutritional needs of a two year old might be let alone how to potty train another human being.

And today while I'm thinking carefully about something the bass player from KISS said, I must also acknowledge that it is a special day for Shaune and me. We've been together for over 10 years now. Some of that time was really rough and we couldn't imagine how we'd ever survive it as a couple. Our friendship seemed to have always pulled us through.
A year ago today I carried my eight month old boy and half a dozen white roses, in my hundred dollar wedding dress and walked up the makeshift aisle we created in our tiny little backyard, and met my best friend who with eyes glistening waited patiently to pledge his vows to me. These things I have become, wife and mother, are never tiresome to me. I may need constant refresher training but I have to admit that in some ways Gene Simmons is right. You don't need a vacation from what you love.
Happy Anniversary Shaune!

Skip on over to the Red Dress Club and check out some of the other entries.

24 comments:

  1. AWWWW - happy anniversary!! I love that picture, you both look so happy! Congratulations honey :)

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  2. Happy Anniversary!!! I'm so happy for all of you!

    Great post! I can definitely relate!!!

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  3. Awesome points...Happy anniversary!

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  4. Happy Anniversary, (she said as she wiped a tear from the corner of her eye.)

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  5. good lord, you are bringing me to tears! happy anniversary! wah. this is so sweet, and i am so glad things are good with you, your man, and your son. :)

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  6. Yikes, Kim! getting your inspiration from KISS! Happy anniversary. A beautiful pic full of love and happiness. ~rick

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  7. Wow, are you my twin sister? Happy Anniversary! My husband and I reached our 7-year mark today! I just wrote a long post about how we met (online). Congrats to both of us! I LOVE everything you said about parenting NOT coming naturally. I feel exactly the same way. I wish I would've had relationship/parenting classes in school too. You're so right. I mean math skills are great but I could've used some real life skills that school definitely didn't teach me. I'd love to know what good toddler books you're reading since my daughter is almost 2 years old. If you would, please share any good stuff you find with me, littlebit.mandy@gmail.com - THANKS!

    http://mandy-lifeafter30.blogspot.com/

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  8. Happy Annivesary!! What a lovely bride!

    I think that's why we take so few vacations, we don't really need a break from our lives because we love them so. It has not always been like that but we've tried to make certain choices so we could make it to this point in our lives.

    And it is not always smooth sailing. There have been job loses, deaths, etc. But mostly we are so grateful to have each other and our little boy that we cherish all the moments life throws our way.

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  9. What a beautiful wedding photo!! You look gorgeous, Kim:) Congratulations to you and Shaune! I'm so happy that you are all happy and enjoying a life filled with love, laughter and good health. I can relate to your post about wanting to figure out the whole marriage/parenting thing. Like you, I poured through all the pregnancy and child rearing books during my first pregnancy. I don't think I consulted any of them after I gave birth. Now I just go with my gut and hope I'm not screwing up too much :) Hugs to my friend, a wonderful mother and magnificent wife. Shaune, maybe a lovely day at the spa would be nice for Kim? Hint, hint, hint :)

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  10. Beautiful post! Happy Anniversary!!!!!!

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  11. Kim, Happy Anniversary to you and Shaune! What a blessing. Love can weather any storm. I am so happy that your husband and son fulfill you in a way that gives you joy and peace. much love. :) BTW-What a beautiful photo of you two.

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  12. Congrats on POTD mention.

    You are so right about good parenting having to be learned! Would there have been the number of books and other educational materials around when I was parenting as there are today, I'm sure I would have done certain things differently and would have been a better parent for it. Wonderful post. Happy anniversary.

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  13. Well done, a POTD and a very happy anniversary!

    It's nice to meet you!

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  14. Happy Anniversary, and congrats on POTD contender.

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  15. Awwww how did I miss this post? I hope you guys had a wonderful day together - Happy Anniversary!

    And you are so right about not learning about relationships and parenting - I wish I'd had classes in it too! :)

    You look gorgeous in that picture, by the way! So happy!

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  16. Beautiful! Happy anniversary!

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  17. Happy Anniversary you guys.... You know Kim, this is such a sensitive post and i loved the way you have approached it... Have a great weekend.. :-)

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  18. Happy Anniversary!
    I always feel like the time I am with my family is my "vacation." I always look forward to the end of each day when we are all safely back together.
    May you have many years of happiness with your sweet family.

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  19. Happy Anniversary!

    I had a really cheap wedding dress too :) But it was beautiful and I loved it.

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  20. YAY! Happy anniversary, what a lovely post :)

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  21. Intimate weddings touch my heart the most. And what a great post.

    Stopping by from the red dress club.

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  22. Happy anniversary! You two make a gorgeous couple! And I so know what you mean - classes on parenting would've served me WAY better than geometry!

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  23. Happy Anniversary, Kim!

    I think that it is a beautiful thing that you take it upon yourself to absorb as much information as you can find on raising a child. So many people feel that they should just know instinctually how to do it, but I'm not sure that's the case.

    You're a great mom for making that effort.
    Have a great weekend!

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  24. What a beautiful post of reflection. Happy Anniversary!!

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