Tuesday, 1 September 2009


I couldn’t shake my bad mood today. I could blame it on the person at work who insisted on getting under my skin. I could claim that until that first encounter with her I was feeling alright. But that’s not completely true.

I woke up dreading the day ahead. No real reason. Just didn’t want to face it, would rather have stayed under the covers or at least under my own roof.

I drove toward the daycare without enjoying the ride. Instead I imagined different encounters I would have later that morning or afternoon. Imaginary conversations preoccupied me – angry conversations I couldn’t fight.

At the daycare, I noticed that Deaglan’s jacket was in another child’s cubby. I grabbed it and brought it to the toddler room where I put Deaglan down and asked with a slight hint of accusation – if it was possible that Deaglan’s jacket could be in Roger’s cubby. The young educator looked up a little surprised to hear this in my voice – usually I am pleasant and light. Yes, she laughed nervously, we couldn’t remember who the jacket belonged to and took a guess. Ashamed, I caught myself and apologized for not having labelled it and asked if I could borrow a sharpie to do it now. Bidding her a good day I walked to the car berating myself for letting my hateful disposition guide my actions.

Even coffee failed me. Several incidents left me feeling either angry or misunderstood. Anger rose so easily. I felt small and invisible. Underappreciated and oh so irritated with all of it.

Some days if I’ve had enough sleep, and feel good in my clothes, and am indifferent about how much I weigh, and know Deaglan is healthy and safe and Shaune is having a good day at work and the sun is shining but it’s not too hot - on these days I can shake off a negligent comment or refrain from wanting to cry because my efforts were overlooked.

But not today. Today I could not change my mind. Today I was not grateful. I could not see the silver lining or be convinced that the glass was half full. Today, I did not want to get along. I did not want to avoid gossip. I did not feel generous or charitable. Today I could not convince myself that she deserved my sympathy. I could not imagine her as an innocent young child. Today I am glad that I found enough professionalism to keep quiet. Because today was not a good day.


  1. ya know what? Some days I have days like that... and then the next day I get the monthly friend.... ;) could that be it?

    anywho - don't beat yourself up. Nobody's perfect, and you're entitled to a bad mood here and then. hugs.

  2. a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day....i hate those kinds of days! don't be so hard on yourself, we are all allowed those days!!!! hope tomorrow is better, and if it's not, just take it one minute at a time!

  3. We all have those days. (Some of us have so many cranky days that our good days are the anomaly...)

    Don't beat yourself up over it. Tomorrow will be better.
    Big hug!

  4. I think the only thing to be greatful on a day like this, which I've had a few, is that we know when we're in a bad mood. It helps to prevent from doing/saying things we'll regret.

  5. Kim, At least you admit it, unlike many of us that look to the others and go "what?" as if it's them. Just one bad day out of the way. ~rick

  6. My Dad used to ask, "Who pissed in your corn flakes?"

    My Mom used to tell me that I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

    Either way, I loathe experiencing the kind of day you had. It's got to be bad when even coffee can't help! Really bad!

  7. We all have those days honey - So don't feel bad. We all know that 99% of the time you're a sweetie pie.

    Feel better - it'll all get better soon. :)

  8. Those are the kinds of days I usually say or do things I regret. I try to stay away from other people until the mood passes! Hard to sometimes. Also, if I can make myself do it, I try to focus on something positive at least for a moment. It may not completetly alter my mood, but it does help for the moment.

  9. I was having one of those days yesterday. We're on the same wavelength!

    As Scarlett O'Hara said, "Tomorrow is another day." I hope the next few days are better for you.

  10. I have those days too, Kim. I'm always glad to discover that I'm usually back in better spirits the next day. When those days do happen, my husband usually knows to "take cover". Big hugs, my friend!

  11. So sorry about your bad day....we all have days like that....I hope your next day is better....and I hope for you no bad days for a while!

  12. Oh honey...I have SO been there. But, you know what? There is tomorrow....

    Thanks for your wonderful words on my politics post...I had had it with negativity. You put a smile on my face this morning. :)


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