I don't remember ever being this tired before. I'm trying to do all the recommended things - sleep while the baby sleeps, take naps when Shaune can care for both kids - but I'll tell ya, this is no picnic!
Deaglan is in daycare for three days a week until the end of July and Shaune's parents take him out one day a week. This has been a great help.
I know that this phase too shall pass and I'm trying to enjoy the aspects that I can. I find that if I try to make my day as normal as possible - showering and doing my hair, cleaning the house a bit, getting out if I can - my mental health remains fairly normal.
I do like being this busy, it removes the extraneous crap that can act as a filler to my day.
Trying to train a newborn to sleep during the night feels like the hardest task in the world. The nights are so long. I've forgotten what control of my body feels like. If I'm not nursing, or changing diapers, I'm trying to get cuddle time in with Deaglan who has regressed in several areas. He's getting up more during the night and taking a lot longer to fall back to sleep. He seems to want to snuggle with me all the time which I love except that I am feeding the baby most of this time. On the other hand, he is really acting up, taking out his frustrations on Shaune and especially me.
Shaune and I are both on edge most of the time since neither of us is getting much rest. I know from past experience that this first few months is a survival game. This poor baby was in utero for almost a year and was used to getting all of his needs met without asking. Now he must cry out for everything in a world where the other humans don't speak his language.
I'm also trying to ignore the extra 20 pounds that isn't budging. I gained a total of 50 and know that eventually I will get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. However, I have to remind myself that I need to let my body heal from the surgery before I can start exercising.
I know, I know, whine, whine, whine. I'm hoping that writing about it will get it out of my head.