These small boys

Last night at the park the big kids were monopolizing the playscape. As we came up the path, Naveen in the backpack, Deaglan on his trike, my older boy stopped pedalling and staring worriedly at the 20 or so 12 year old boys, said Mommy I don't want to go to the park. When I asked him why, he replied I don't want them to ride my bike. I assured him that the big boys wouldn't want to ride his trike and he continued riding but I found myself staring at the boys with worry and wonder. We live near a hockey rink with a park out back and these kids were blowing off some steam before their evening game. I looked at my two tiny boys and back at the near teenagers. They were running and yelling, some with deep voices, taking the stairs up to the slides in one or two long strides. A decade passed in the blink of an eye and I could see my precious two playing like this. Would they still need me? Would I know how to talk to them - would they want to talk to me? A shiver came over me.

On our way back a man looked up from raking his lawn. He shook his head and laughed one of those gentle knowing laughs. You're bringing back memories, he said. I used to have one in the back pack and one out front in the snugli. We have twin boys and I remember those days so well. It was the best time...they didn't talk back then! Enjoy these days, they go fast!

Providence? I'm not sure what you'd call it but while I was reading bedtime stories I found myself looking at them and wanting to freeze frame the moment.

The top picture is of Deaglan in the pile of 'snow' behind the arena. An added bonus of going to this park has been spotting the Zamboni that cleans the ice. Deaglan is consumed with the goings-on within the arena wanting to know exactly what the Zamboni is doing at any given time, why it dumps snow out back, why the man sits where he does when driving the Zamboni.

I had to take the laptop over to where Naveen was bouncing on the jumperoo. I wanted to show you one of his beautiful easy smiles but everytime the flash on the camera goes off, his smile changes to surprise. So I thought the camera on the laptop would be better - unfortunately the picture is really grainy.