Tuesday, 28 December 2010

How do I love thee?

I don't always know how to be happy. I nitpick. I get huffy about unimportant crap. I let being right carry me off on self-righteous tangents. I micromanage my husband.

I write here about the majesty of my children, the splendour of being their mother, the exuberance with which I've embraced parenthood. But I hardly ever write about Shaune.

He's always in the background. I include him when the story calls for it. I add him like seasoning if it will enhance the narrative, but I rarely focus on him.

I don't know why I don't write about him more often. Well he would probably find it phoney. In real life he's sort of used to me being not all that showey toward him.

I rarely grab him in an embrace, profess my love for him. I hardly ever tell him that I'm glad he's my husband. I don't know if I could aptly let him know just how much it means to wake up from a nap and smell a magnificient meal cooking on the stove. That it feels like home when he's home even though we're not perfect together.

I wish I could admit that I am (sometimes) wrong more often.

I like that he doesn't demand things of me, things like my adoration, my gratitude, my undying show of affection. I know that relationship specialists might look at my attitude and tell me to smarten up, pull up my socks.

And I'm not saying that we're a match made in heaven, that my lack of giving all those things that are supposed to make a marriage work is working. I certainly know I could do better.

I was thinking about this today and realizing that I could use some work when it comes to him. 

 This is the cake Shaune made for Deaglan's birthday. Deaglan went crazy when he saw it.

Check out some of the other entries over at Shell's place.


  1. I hear you - I hardly ever write about my hubby on the blog but he is such an integral part of my life. I just know he reads the blog and I kind of feel weird writing about him in such an exposed manner.

    And that cake is spectacular! I would have gone crazy for it!

  2. I think many people are the same. We get caught up in hectic daily life with young kids, and other things come out on top. I'm not someone who verbalizes affection and appreciation all the time, so my husband probably feels unappreciated at times. Something most of us could work on!

  3. I find that it's easier to write funny or sarcastic things about my husband than to get all gooey and sweet about him. But, I do try to let him know how I feel.

  4. I think you just told him :)

    If there's any doubt he might read this, I'd have someone who knows both of you call and tell him about this. This is what every man dies to hear.

    Just sayin' - as a man :)

  5. That cake came out great. Shaune is one talented guy apparently. Love this post Kim. I know that he will too.

  6. i can definitely relate. shaune is an awesome cake maker by the way!!!

  7. Any hubby who takes the time to make a cake like that is a keeper!

    Happy New Year to you and your wonderful family!

  8. A beautiful post describing exactly how some of us feel and do!

    I'm glad he understood, and not pushing for the quieter part of you.

    Happy New Year, Kim!

  9. I'm not an openly affectionate type either, so I can relate. But I think our hubbies know we love 'em to bits even if we don't show it. btw, I am gaga over that cake! he is an awesome dad for doing that :-)

    Happy New Year, New Friend!

  10. Nothing like a fantastic, fatherly, supportive, loving M.A.N.!!! He is blessed to have you too. ;)

  11. OH my gosh, I could have written this post. I don't give my husband enough credit, I don't ever grab him and say I love him in a spur of a moment, the kisses are far between. But I also know I am lucky. And many other men wouldn't understand me like he does.


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