When I told Shaune that Erin (my friend I hosted the shower for) asked me to be MC as well as a bridesmaid at her upcoming wedding, he looked worried and said you know, MC's are supposed to be funny and make the wedding guests laugh right?
Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence honey. I knew what he was getting at though. Erin said she was asking me not only because I've known her and Wes their entire relationship but also because she enjoys reading my blog and thinks I might do a good job. To quote one of the things she said: I cry like a blubbering idiot reading some of your posts.
I'm sorry Erin for posting this - I know none of us liked these pictures of ourselves:) Erin is second from the left - a group shot of the bridal party.
But not all my posts are sad, right? Sometimes I manage to make you giggle, don't I?
See, that's the thing about putting myself out there. Writing is one thing but writing always to an audience whether it's one person or 30, makes my stomach ache when I really think about it. I'm the most sensitive person Shaune's ever met (a direct quote). I worry what people will think all the time after I hit publish. Sometimes when I get a slightly negative comment, I want to pull the post and find safety again. But then a few days later, the compulsion to write, to blab about my life, to share what's going on here in The Child zone takes over and I'm at it again.
Last week two friends (who I adore) on two separate occassions said something about my writing that I've been mulling over almost constantly since. Oh the mature, logical part of me knows that they meant it as a compliment (you did right?) but the insecure, who-do-I-think-I-am-even-considering-calling-myself-a-writer, this-will-never-amount-to-anything, I-should-just-let-the-real-writers-write part of me has taken that one little comment and turned it into a natural disaster.
Anyway, I wasn't sure whether to post this or not. The over-thinking-loony me was like - what's the big deal, nobody cares. But the part of me that loves writing, that wants to be published, that yearns to be heard, has something to tell you: I'M GOING TO BE PUBLISHED!!!!!
Okay, now that I've said it, let me manage your expectations. It really is no big deal. I'm one of many, many writers in an anthology called About Her: Stories of Grace, Grit, Grievance and Gratitude. If you've been stopping by for the last few years, you've likely read my post called Dove. It's up there under the heading Some of my favourite posts.
The book is due out in April and will be available through Amazon. I won't be profiting from sales but have to say it is kind of thrilling to be included. I'll keep you posted.