No sugar here

This morning after showering, Shaune walked downstairs, shirt and tie on, coffee in hand and a look that told me he'd been waiting for just the right moment and said Hey, I don't mind drinking coffee without cream and sugar - it's kind of how I like my women - dark and bitter.

Before you think too much about this, you should know that we've both been trying to eat healthier. And also we have a non-sleeping nine-month old and a three-year old who has enough energy to run the Boston Marathon before 8am. And Shaune leaves for school every morning by eight and doesn't get home till almost ten at night from work.

Most days we're both on edge.

I laughed inspite of myself at his wise crack. I'll bet you're pretty pleased with yourself  I said shaking my head.

The thing is, it's been a tough year around here. Oh I know I need to get some perspective, look at how blessed we are and all that. But let me rant for a minute. It's been challenging. It took us to new strained places in our relationship. I'd like to tell you that we tested our marriage and were delighted to see that we had what it took to sail through this unscathed but it just wouldn't be true.

Somedays it got ugly. There was lots of bickering about the division of labour. Who was doing more around here, who was sacrificing this or that for our family - you know, that super mature stuff.

There were very tired days which made it almost impossible for us to sympathize with each other. Times where I knew I should have just let him off the hook at bath time and done it all myself because he had ten projects due. And times I'm sure he regretted rolling his eyes when I told him I hadn't slept a wink all night. And there were many hours spent silently because what we had to say to each other would have only made things worse. 

It hasn't been easy to be our best selves.

But there's an end in sight. This is the last week of classes and after that one month of practice teaching. 

Don't get me wrong. I'm proud of us. So very proud of him. I can see the implications for our children. Shaune's done a good thing here. Showed them by example that you can change your life for the better. That you can go back to school at any age.

And me, dark and bitter? Yeah, some days:)