Tuesday, 19 April 2011

Ten part three and four: Reflections on forty

Lordy, lordy look who’s forty.

Ahem, that would be me.

April 20.
As in now.
As in I’m officially in my forties. Does this mean I’m middle aged? And also is forty the new thirty? Or the new twenty? Because although I liked my thirties, I’ve had enough. And if it’s the new twenty?


I mean I’m definitely not having an it’s my party, I’ll cry if I want to moment. But it’s certainly not a Yay, I’m finally old enough to get shitfaced kind of day either. I will say this though – it’s still a good riddance to those deranged twenties – don’t bring them up cuz I will deny all involvement and also stop speaking to you kind of a milestone.

We were going to quietly celebrate out at a fancy restaurant this weekend with some friends but nothing was coming together mostly because Easter took its sweet time getting here. So it’s postponed.
I wasn’t crushed. Didn’t feel friendless and unspecial like I would have had Shaune not organized something substantial on my thirtieth. Frankly I was a little relieved. I don’t like being the centre of attention that way.

I’ll wait here while you roll your eyes.
Considering I’m one thin cotton nightie away from being completely naked here on my blog. You know, practically begging you to pay attention to me.

Seriously though, there’s this pressure to have some whopping shin-dig, a considerable gathering, where roomfuls of friends jump out from behind large pieces of furniture. The truth is, I don’t think I have a roomful of friends. Maybe a powder room full. Okay, I’m being modest. Midsized bedroom at best. And half of them live out of town. Does such an occasion warrant travel plans and vacation days?

And also, I need time to think about this. What do I do now? What do forty year-old people do? I quit smoking four years ago and rarely drink more than a glass of wine in one sitting and have always flossed regularly. I could stand to add more calcium to my diet and possibly I need to get a mammogram. Okay I definitely need to get a mammogram. And stop watching Law & Order re-runs.

Truth be told I’m on a four week cycle - of needing to dye my hair. Well that’s exaggerating, it’s probably more like three weeks but I can hide the gray in that last week with strategic pony-tailing. Also, I’m in dire need of constructive undergarments.

Equally true my friends: I am content. I have everything I want. You know what I mean?
Good man.
Beautiful kids.
Roof over my head and a steady job.

Not to mention the fact that I live in a peaceful country that empowers women, minorities, gay and lesbian people to live their truths and be who they are in a mostly supportive environment. I have the freedom to raise my kids with whatever beliefs, faith and values I decide.

That’s really something when you think about it.

So I don’t think it sucks to be forty today. I’m feeling quiet and contemplative. I’m thinking about Matthew. I’m counting the goodness I’m blessed with. And I’m sending all of you warm thoughts for taking the time to read my birthday post.

Please go visit Shell and read some of the other people pouring their hearts out today.


  1. Let me be one of the first to wish you a very happy birthday Kim-and if this post is any indicator of what you will accomplish in the years to come, you are off to one heck of a great start! You are a darn good writer with so much to offer all of us-and I am happy to call you my friend:)
    Happy Birthday!!!

  2. Love it!! Happy Birthday, Kim! I'm not far behind you. It's great to be content - enjoy my friend!!

  3. Happy Birthday my dear friend!! You're going to rock out 40 and show the whole world that Kim is a dynamic, creative force to be reckoned with.

    Let's have a virtual blog party for you right here and right now. Should I put on the dance music? Are you ready for karaoke? Go grab that chocolate.

    I agree that the whole concept of 40 has to sink in. I'm 42, and still not to sure what it is supposed to feel like. But you know what? I'm with you - no turning back and let's go full force together and see what we can make of these 40's!!!

    We'll make it a good time full of joy, laughter and quiet moments. (But will you please tell the kids to stop adding 20 years to my age. They love showing off their math skills on me and getting me to say, "Can you subtract 20 years instead?" LOL.

    Love ya. Have a HUGE piece of cake for me!!! I'll keep the party going for you here in NY. Hey, I need a reason for a party. What better one than my pal Kim's birthday? HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

  4. Happy Birthday, Kim! This is a great post. Funny because it's true...like Law & Order reruns (is there anyone who can't get sucked into them?!). I'm a little younger than most of my friends and acquaintances and some of them took their 40th celebrations way more seriously than I think I will. I am more inclined to do a big bash for my 39th and call it "The Last Birthday." I don't think I need anything special for the 40th.

  5. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! I will be 40 in one year! I can't wait! I've waited a long time to get this old! hee hee!
    I hope you get to do something fun!

  6. Happy Birthday Sweetie. Forty was the best year of my life so far.

    AND......I'm still naughty at Forty (plus a few.) ♥

  7. Happy Birthday Kim! You do have so much to be thankful and you have been blessed. I think 40 is the new 30 :)

  8. Happy Birthday!!!! I think that 40 is just the new 40, people are just awesomer now... I was also glad to leave behind my twenties, however, I'm NOT pysched about my eye wrinkles... I hope you have an AMAZING day!!!

  9. Thanks for the morning chuckle! You really do know how to tell a story!
    Happy Happy 40th Kim, and 40 is the new 30 I believe!
    Love Kath

  10. Happy Birthday, Kim! Regardless of where you are or what you do, it is still your special day! Find time to relax (5 minutes...maybe?!?) and know that you're being sent wonderful wishes from miles and miles away! Enjoy your day! xoxo

  11. Happy Birthday sweetie.It looks as though in your 40 years you have received the coveted wisdom we searched for in previous years. Have an amazing birthday.I'm sure that whatever you do will be amazing because you already have everything that makes life great.

  12. Happy Birthday! I think 40 is great, a heck of a lot better than 30! Your life sounds pretty fabulous.

  13. Happy Birthday Lady! I agree that going back to the 20s is not an option, but it is nice that you look half your age!

  14. I am totally with you. I can't think of much from my twenties that I would like to have right now. (Ok. I just thought of one thing......less pain!)
    I'll be forty in September and I am glad there is a fellow, "NOT Over the Hill-er!"
    Have a great birthday.

  15. Now this is a great perspective!

    Happy birthday!

  16. Happy Birthday. Seems like you're in a great place. I hope to be there when I hit my 40's.

  17. It sounds like you're pertty content. That's a blessing in itself. Happy birthday! Stopping by from PYHO!

  18. Happy (belated) birthday!

    I hear you on the gray hair. I'm a week late because I'm procrastinating. And it shows! Ugh, it's one of those things I hate doing every 6 weeks. Sigh.

  19. Blessings my friend on your 40th!

  20. Happy Birthday!

    I'm edging out of my forties in another year and a half. It sure was a decade of upheaval for me, what with the divorce and all. But still - I think I have felt stronger and more competent and even sexier in my forties than at any other time in my life.


Thanks for your comment!