Sunday will be my fourth mother’s day. It still hasn’t quite hit me that two people will always call me Mom. And because I began my life in Bangladesh, I can’t help but know what a miracle it is that I am a mother at all. In countries like Bangladesh, women rarely have medical care during labour. Both of my boys came to us through caesarean section. I had polyhydramnios (too much amniotic fluid) both times which put me at high risk near the end of my pregnancies. Each time my doctor and midwife thought it best to safely remove the baby instead of waiting for labour to bring him out. I would have most surely lost both babies or lost my own life had I been birthing in Bangladesh.
I tell my mom stories here all the time. Being Deaglan’s and Naveen’s mother has been the single most defining role of my life. A friend once said – it is the hardest job you will ever love. And she was right.
Some days I find myself struggling. I know I’m not being a “good mom.” I don’t feel like playing with them. We don’t get outside. I’m irritated because they are not cooperating. I let them watch too much TV. I feed them easy meals that might not fit into the Canada Food Guide. And I yearn for a little time to myself.
But my moments of self-pity don’t last too long. Bangladesh is always only a thought away. I know truly how blessed I am. I told Shaune the other day to forego getting me anything. I'm always buying something for myself anyway! I asked him to sit down with Deaglan to help him with a home-made card. I still have the two bunches of flowers I received for my birthday thanks to Shaune and my friends Jennifer and Mario.
I saw this video and asked Shaune if he’d be okay if we just donated the cost of flowers and a card to mothers who don’t have it as good as I do. Even $5.00 can make a difference.
Five bucks.
I am so glad your life has made its path to its current destination. And I am glad I just get to be a tiny part of that path.
ReplyDeleteIt is magnificent to be someone's mother. I agree with you wholeheartedly - I don't need a thing this mother's day maybe just some smiles from the kids. They are my ultimate birthday/Christmas/all holiday gifts forever.
I love this post Kim-I'm inspired to do the same this Mother's Day, and help some other moms out there. Thanks for the link you've posted.
ReplyDeleteLike you, my child is the only gift I'll ever need. Without a doubt, Amy is the biggest blessing I have ever received, and the best thing to ever happen to me.
Happy Early Mother's Day to you, my friend. xx
What a great idea. There is a huge difference between being a mother and being a mom and you are definitely a mom. Happy (early) mother's day.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great and self-less idea!! Happy Mother's day to you!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great idea and I love that quote. So very true. My girls are the best gift I have ever received but it's harder than I ever imagined to be a mom. I think we all question ourselves at times. You just have to look at your boys and know that you are doing an amazing job.
ReplyDeleteHappy early Mother's Day, my friend!
Very well said! And sweet of you to think of others first.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful idea! Don't be so hard on yourself...you're doing an amazing job!
ReplyDeletei hear from you too many times that your not a good mother.... motherhood isn't some saintly duty, some devine provodence. your human first and then wife and mother yes as one catagory)and later you will be writer / grandmother / inventor - so many possibilities. It is good that those boys learn now that you are human - as long as they feel secure in the love you offer - it wont hurt them at all to know they must wait and love in return.
ReplyDeletedont write that nasty little phrase again, okay?
I'll have to come back for the video. It's true that there are many countries have very little pre-natal care for women and high rates of death in childbirth. We are lucky.
ReplyDelete(Incidentally, I don't buy that myth of perfect mothering. I believe in good-enough mothering.)
I'll have to come back for the video. It's true that there are many countries have very little pre-natal care for women and high rates of death in childbirth. We are lucky.
ReplyDelete(Incidentally, I don't buy that myth of perfect mothering. I believe in good-enough mothering.)
I love your heart. I love that you recognize how blessed you (we) are. I am forever grateful that I was able to have my babies with this modern technology.
ReplyDeleteThis is an amazing post...you make such a good point! And you got me thinking...thank you for doing so!
ReplyDeleteAnd as an aside, I agree with Secret Agent...I am totally on board with good-enough parenting!
Your selflessness is humbling. To think of other mothers less fortunate on a day that celebrates moms in a commercial way, really brings the purpose back down to Earth. We should be thinking of other moms around the world. So, thanks for that. And for what it's worth I think you are a terrific MOM because you are honest and real and don't pretend to be anyone else. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of giving your Mother's Day Gift to charity.
ReplyDeleteYour soul breathes "mother." Kim, you're an inspiration to me in so many ways.
ReplyDeleteThis is a powerful video. Love you.
Bless you...
ReplyDelete