During a break at a work meeting today, I surveyed a table full of snacks and took two small packages of cookies. I set them next to my note book, sat down, sipped my water and continued listening to the speaker. I looked at the tiny packs of Oreos and smiled, delighting in how excited Deaglan and Naveen would be when I presented them.
And then it hit me.
I’d just pocketed free snacks in front of my professional counterparts. A room full of people I’d met only minutes before.
Does my burgeoning mother-ness know no bounds? I didn’t even have a purse with me for petes’ sake. I was openly stashing freebies for the kids. The realization flushed my face and suddenly the meeting room got much smaller. I felt my armpits moisten. It was like an out-of-body experience.
This was inevitable though.
I was never good at anything before. I once got an award for perfect attendance in grade four. Other than that I’ve been existing sort of C-plus. But this gig has me aiming high which doesn’t always look cool. I’m not going for yummy mummy or that mom who has it together. I'm after the meat. I want very few regrets when looking back. I need to know I pushed myself.
And so every day I pray for the grace to be at least good at some of it. I pray that I get even a tiny bit right.
And when that fails I steal them cookies.
P.S. A lot of you have been kind enough to comment on the photography lately. I have to give credit where it's due. Shaune takes a lot of the pictures I post - I try to label when that's the case. It should also be noted that on the last post, he not only took those beautiful pictures of the kids, he also took them out of the house so I could have a few hours to myself.
I'm joining my friends Rach and Sara for Life Lessons.