This was Deaglan on his 2nd birthday
Full disclosure friends, as it relates to matters of baby sleep, I can only assume I’m doing it all wrong. A few months ago Shaune confirmed this when he stated bluntly: You know what we have here don’t you? We have ourselves a perfect case for Supernanny.
And while my immediate reaction was to defend – insist that the only reason Deaglan had been sleeping with us these past few months was because he’d endured enormous changes, that soon he’d be back to his own bed, and the only reason I still couldn’t bear to let Naveen cry it out was because the last few times I did, he was legitimately sick and in need of me so how could I know for sure – I realized that he was probably right. We likely did need some tough love from a reality TV parenting guru.
Because I’ll be honest, I dread bedtime.
We’re constantly devising ways to get our kids to sleep through the night. Alone in their own beds if possible. However, a few weeks ago when I finally coaxed Deaglan back to his own room, ranting about how cool his race car bed was, pointing out how ecstatic his fish were to see him, his temperature spiked to a scary place so that it was easier to pull him into bed with us, keeping the fever in check.
And Saturday night, defeated from the multiple wake-ups with Naveen all week, Shaune asked me full of hope: Isn’t there an herbal remedy we can give him to help him sleep? Oh I know it’s wrong to wonder if there was a safe way to sedate your child – but we’re exhausted friends!
I laughed and rolled my eyes but made a mental note to Google it later.
I share your pain! And I mean physical pain from sleeping with feet in my neck and back all night because the 4 of us cannot ALL fit into our bed comfortably!
ReplyDeleteI try very hard to get them to stay in their bed, but they don't and frankly - we are exhausted!
I do have friends who give their kids melatonin...we have not tried it though because our boys sleep, they just won't stay in their room.
Amy would sleep too, but not in her own bed either. It seemed every night, like clock work, right around midnight or so, we'd hear the thump of her feet hitting the floor and heading towards our room. She would fall asleep instantly and we'd toss and turn the rest of the night. We were in a haze for a couple of years it seemed! But all of this will pass, my dear. I know it's a struggle right now-I know it's hard, and this is just my opinion-but I would not use any remedy to help either of your little darlings sleep. You guys will get through this. I promise:) Hugs, Kim!
ReplyDeleteI confess that we did cry it out early on with my boys. Cort was the toughest - he put up quite a good fight- but he did get it after a couple of weeks (my other 2 got it right away - within a few days). It's hard though, so I can understand your reluctance to go that route.
ReplyDeleteSleep issues are so hard and so personal. I always resented it when people would give me advice, especially when I didn't ask or made me feel dumb b/c I let her sleep in our bed for a while too. Every child is so different too in terms of temperament. Have you talked to your pediatrician about a sleep plan or anything?
ReplyDeleteOh my...sounds like tons of bad timing and coincidences...:(
ReplyDeleteFYI I use L.A. Naturals products with Noah. I've never tried this particular product but I've had success with their other things...worth a try:
http://lanaturals.com/index.php?cat=1&class_no=15&body=item&item=1136811
Also a massage of lavender essential oil mixed with olive oil or a carrier oil like jojoba does wonders too, for relaxing and helping the littles fall off to sleep. Good luck and this too shall pass...:)
Oh I'm sorry. I hope they start sleeping through the night soon, or at least in their own bed. We are going through a bad regression with our two year old. He used to sleep in his room, in his bed nicely - now one of us has to lay with him until he falls asleep which at times can take hours. It's no fun for anyone involved.
ReplyDeleteMy boys slept with us too. Our paediatrician was pretty lax about the whole thing, saying that some kids go through separation anxiety at night when their parents work during the day. My family was not so lax and everyone had an opinion about what I was doing wrong or what was wrong with my kids for not sleeping through the night in their own beds. I was just as guilty as the kids were...I always felt more secure if they were sick knowing they were within arms reach if they needed me. Also, I felt guilty being away from them all day and then putting them to bed a few hours later. Trust me...they'll outgrow it. Gradually they'll start sleeping in their beds...and they won't be 18 years old asking to climb in with you. (although, they might still sneak in for a snuggle and some all-so-important talks, if you're lucky)! It was actually the time of day (or night) that I seemed to have the best chats with the kids. They're relaxed and seemed to open up more. Anyhow...don't stress it...grab your sleep when and where you can...the kids won't be worse for wear for having climbed into your bed.
ReplyDeleteI am so not looking forward to the sleepless nights! it's only been a year since our first started sleeping through the night. I had forgotten what 8 hours of rest felt like. I am begging this unborn child to be different, but I fear it will be the same. As for Super Nanny...she only has all the answers because she has zero kids of her own.
ReplyDeleteWe constantly fluctuated between awesome sleep and none at all. We're on day 3 of only a few hours. Sometimes we got it and sometimes we don't. At this point, we do whatever it takes even it everyone is in the same bed. Do what you need to do Kim and don't stress about everyone sleeping in their beds. Eventually the time will come when they will figure it out.
ReplyDeleteI used to give my sister a hard time for allowing my nephew to always sleep in their bed. He's 13 now and does not sleep in there any more. And I'm eating crow because my kids sleep with us all the time.
I've had some folks tell me Benadryl works wonders as long as it does not have the reverse effect. I know our son, who used to take Zyrtex for his allergies, usually slept well during that period. Both are antihistamines. I'm not advocating for using meds to sedate your children but if you go that route (I am assuming you were in jest) then these are some safe suggestions.
Hugs to you and hoping you get more rest as I know how I feel when I am not well rested.
I've prayed for sleep before too, and I've thought the exact same thing as you, there are worse things than me not getting sleep. But at the time...you just need some sleep!!
ReplyDeleteSend SuperNanny to my house when you're done with her. I've had a tantrum-throwing almost 2 year old on my hands all week ;)
Oh that is hard. My kids woke up throughout the night for way too long- I read everything there was to read, even asked his pediatrician but could not figure anything out; my oldest would wake up yelling for milk until he was almost two years old, we would have three sippy cups ready, drop one in bed, he would drink it toss it out and the a couple of hours later the same. But eventually he just started sleeping through the night.
ReplyDeleteMy third- has been sleeping through the night since 4 months and I did all of the same stuff I did with my first- so sometimes kids are just different. But yea, eventually some tough love is needed too.
After going through all the turmoil of trying to get my son in his crib (at his dad's insistence, before I felt he was ready) and walking around like a zombie, I changed tactics with my second. I let him sleep on me in my bed for the first eight months. Much easier transition. And all that to say, there is no right answer and you figure it all out as you go.
ReplyDeleteDo you know how many times Grant has said the same thing to me about SuperNanny? Too funny. I had my sleep time battles with the kids too. Lately, Joseph has been up and down at night. I say to myself, "Geez, the kid is 8! I need my sleep!" Parenting is an adventure, isn't it? Hope all is well. Miss talking with you, Kim :) Hugs!!!!
ReplyDeleteOh, and such a handsome guy in that outfit too!!
ReplyDelete