Each of you is constantly trying to find time for yourself in the name of self-preservation. Five minutes without the crying. Thirty minutes to zone out to TV. A few stolen moments to read a page or two, maybe write a quick post. Life becomes a series of relays – I’ll chop the vegetables and make the rice, and while you put the stir-fry together I’ll run errands. You start bath time and I’ll do the reading.
And in the midst of it I see that resistance is my enemy.
Instead I practice surrender. I stop asking why. Why on the last day of Naveen’s antibiotics does Deaglan suddenly have a fever? Why on the rare occasion the baby is sleeping through the night does my mind race, leaving me to toss and turn all night long?
I pick two things to get done instead of bemoaning that I never have time to do anything. I celebrate the seemingly inconsequential like finding time to get my eyebrows shaped, organizing a shelf in a cupboard I’d been meaning to get to.
I find peace in laundry, sanity with the vacuum cleaner. I remind myself that this is what there is. That the prayer isn’t please God transport me to an easier time and place, it’s oh hey, I see why this is right and good.
And when the day is long, blind to joy, I stay close to the couch and go easy on myself.
My sister's bird found his way to my shoulder. It was not unlike having a small child constantly attached to you - lovely and irritating at the same time. Oh who am I kidding - it was kind of creepy.
I'm joining my friends Rach and Sara today for Life Lessons.
That bird would have freaked me out. I do not care for them.
ReplyDeleteI think this is a great perspective. It's a reminder that we're not waiting for life to happen- it is happening.
You're so wise, my friend. Seriously.
Beautiful post Kim. So many things came to mind as I read this, so many memories, and I was just left with a large lump in my throat. I want to hang on to these days as long as I can. Forever, if I had my way:) xx
ReplyDeleteGreat post.
ReplyDeleteI had birds when I was younger. I loved having them sit on my shoulders :-)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful writing, as always!
Kids, by their very nature, take attention away from marriage. It's a choice to put the attention back on it, especially when like you say, all you want to do is just sit there and do anything else. And on a super darling note, I love that photo of him and yes to the cute little neck showing!
ReplyDeleteIt is hard when kids keep you busy- that is why bed time is precious for my husband and I and we spend most nights hanging out - even just watching a show together as kids really do like a lot of attention
ReplyDeleteI am trying to think of something cleaver to write but honestly, this is just honest and very true. Is is an incredible balancing act. I'm already starting to get scared of me starting back to school next week - knowing it will be a big time balancing act.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great message Kim! I'm hoping to find peace in the never ending chores that fill my life too. Here's wishing you a great 2012 ahead! :)
ReplyDeletemy pastor who leads our mommy group always says kids are hard on marriage. I don't know if I agree that it disappears (ask me again after #2 arrives). I definitely think the focus of marriage shifts away from each other to the children and that can make the spouses invisible to one another
ReplyDeletep.s. I didn't know you were a runner!
Your pictures are great. I struggle with balancing everything in my life. LOVE your blog and glad I found you. WIll be back again very soon.
ReplyDeleteLove this line, "It was not unlike having a small child constantly attached to you - lovely and irritating at the same time". That is SO very true. I love my boy, but man I am happy school is back in session so that I can have a smidget of "me" time. xo
ReplyDeleteI agree, this is a good perspective. I don't think the marriage disappears if you don't let it...it just evolves. :)
ReplyDeleteKids are hard on adults, period. I wonder why we keep doing this to ourselves and then my daughter throws her arms around my neck and I finally get it. But yes, resistance is the enemy. Sometimes you gotta just let it go.
ReplyDeleteI love your posts and your writing. It is so hard to find the balance for us in our marriage and our family but it is worth it sometimes.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, Kim. I just love the way you write.
ReplyDeleteAnd great job on running!
My life is a never-ending struggle to find balance. I swear, it should be my full-time job!
ReplyDeleteI think we can all relate to this...at least we know we're not alone.
Great post Kim. As always.
Resistance is futile, you might as well give in and just let the flow of life take you where it will.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post Kim. I agree with you about the liberating feeling of surrendering. I have to try it more these days. Thanks for the important reminder my friend.
ReplyDeleteAnd don't you look gorgeous in that picture!!! I don't think you can take a bad pic, my photogenic friend :)