Sunday, 27 May 2012


Lately I’ve been struggling to find equilibrium between my ideal self – you know, organized, calm, proactive, loving – and my real self – reactive, irritated, often irrational bordering on CRAZY. It’s not easy to strike the balance.

I yell at the kids when this was never part of my parenting plan. I send them off to bed too often without cracking a book and yet I’m completely pro-reading. I feed them hot dogs and chicken nuggets but I know eating right is essential to their health.  I let them watch Diego instead of taking them outside at the end of the work day so I can enjoy a glass of wine in peace.

Let’s see, what else?

I don’t forgive people when I should. I bicker with my husband in front of the kids. I choose being right instead of happy. I sometimes overuse the F word when I’m angry and tired. Okay I often overuse the F word when I’m tired and angry.

I know this is not a confessional and you certainly aren’t my priest.

But the more I do this parenting gig, the more I feel obligated to be honest. I refuse to let my friends think I’m something I’m not, so I always correct them when they praise me for being an outstanding mom. I gain nothing by projecting an image that doesn’t properly reflect me.

I got carded at the liquor store today. A small thrill raced through me. My ego almost got carried away.  I should tell you though, the cashier was maybe 19 and this was likely his first day on the job. Plus, this was not a large metropolitan LCBO but the tiny side-of-the road stop-by in a tiny town near Shaune’s parents’ house. And the young guy was shaky and nervous. Also, it was hard to ignore the sign behind his head: “We ID everyone under 25.” Even though the legal drinking age here in Ontario is 19.

And also this:

Last week when Deaglan and I were sitting together watching his new favourite show The Octonaughts, Naveen, a few feet away was repeatedly hitting the on switch to his toy workshop. Deaglan elbowed me in the rib, and asked in confidence:

“Does that fucking thing ever shut off?”

Two things. 
The kid at the liquor store thought I was 25! 
And you have to admit it’s impressive how Deaglan was able to properly express his ire with  a complex use of adjective.

We went camping last week for the long weekend in Port Huron at the KOA. It was a lot of fun. 


  1. I think we all do chicken nuggets and Diego sometimes. I'm making more of an effort to always read at bedtime, but 'always' is flexible, ha ha.

    Love the little cabin - that looks so fun!

  2. Kim, I love this post! The best thing about you being open and honest is not only does it make the rest of us feel normal but it makes me look upto you even more as a mommy! xox Shannon

  3. I remember the days of feeling less than adequate most of the time. The truth is, life can be tiring, and more specifically, parenting can be exhausting! I know you want to be perfect, but that doesn't exist. What does exist is what you are-a mom who loves her kids with all her heart. In the end, you'll have two boys who grew up knowing they were loved, and in an imperfect world, that, Kim, is really all that matters:) Hugs sweetie! xx

  4. I definitely LOL'd at what he said. I'm sorry, but little kids swearing crack me up, every single time. I love and appreciate your honesty- as always :-)

  5. You said it best when you wrote that you "gain nothing by projecting an image that doesn't properly reflect" you. AMEN. I crave honesty in relationships. I have zero time for fake.

    Getting carded makes my day. And I totally laughed at Deaglan. Is that bad?

  6. Bravo!! I had to muffle my laughter from Deaglan's phraseology! Bless you my friend. I think the truth is that YOU are telling the truth about most, if not all of us. Keep being an excellent Mom who's human. Seriously, you rock!

  7. I feel like we are the same person. I too feel like and do these things way too often. I'm sorry but I had to start laughing when I read what he said.

  8. I am cracking up at Deaglan and his mastery of colloquialism. And since we're telling the truth, Diego is my life saver. And we're supposedly Montessori parents

  9. I'm flipping out alot lately. I pray for more patience but when the fighting starts with the kids... We do our best and we're not perfect, but we're pretty good at loving those rascally kids. Love the post. You speak for many of us. And gotta love Deaglan's choice of adjectives. Too funny!

  10. Yeah, so in other words - you're human. I think kids can be okay without constant healthy food and pristine language and so on. Mine seem to be weathering it all.

  11. Feel free to confess anytime! We all have our days (or weeks), but when we're honest about it, it makes the rest of us feel not so alone.
    I laughed at the f-bomb...too funny.


Thanks for your comment!