Wednesday, 19 December 2012

With a little help from my friends

This morning on our way out the door Naveen asked for cookies. If he was already dressed in his outside gear I would have likely said “no, sugar in the morning is not good for a kid’s brain.” 

Except I was running late and the thought of chasing him down to get his coat and hat on was exhausting. So I grabbed a mini bag of Chips Ahoy and used it to buy his cooperation. After that I realized Shaune had Deaglan’s backpack and lunch box in his car. He was already gone to work while Deaglan’s unpacked lunch sat on the counter.

I could have cried.

On the way to Deaglan’s school I apologized to both kids for yelling. “Mornings are hard on Mommies,” I explained. It’s become something of a ritual, my contrition. I am rarely my best mothering self weekday mornings. I told them, like I try to do every morning on our drive, that they are good kids.

And if it’s been a particularly bad morning, then I find a sympathetic friend at work to help assuage my guilt. I tell them what an awful parent I am; admit how crazy I acted. I welcome any number of compassionate responses: A childless friend could say something like, “I don’t know how you do so much before even getting here in the morning!”  

And just like that I am restored.

Someone with older kids might admit to having had many similar mornings herself - that it’s all just normal and par for the course. If I don’t believe that she would act as nutty as I did that morning, I might nudge her a little for an example – a time when she lost her cool, mixed profanity with religion because sometimes saying “Oh my f%#@*ing god” seems like the only justified response to a five year old refusing to put his shoes on even though he’s been asked 50 times. 

A good friend will search her memory for a similar story - even tarnish an innocuous instance if she can't think of anything,  just to make me feel better. 


  1. Oh Kim...the wonderful stories I could tell you would make you seem like the MOTHER OF THE YEAR you are! Now,my two boys at 19 years 364 days and 17 the battles are so much easier...if they are late for school or work it's their problem! I wouldn't trade any of the memories of oh my F$@### god can't you just co-operate one day this week are distant but you brought them back for me. 20 years ago in about 5 hours I saw Josh's face for the first time and I realized that love was never better!! Have a great Holiday Season with your "boys"

  2. All Mothers are amazing to me, but you are especially my friend... You are a hero to your boys and they are NOT going to remember rough mornings. I can barely take the dog out and get to work on time, so you are amazing!!

  3. I don't work outside of the home but mornings here are just as crazy sometimes. We don't have to be at Mother's Day Out until 9am and let me tell you some days it takes us a good 2 hours to get moving. It's rough with little kids to get out the door.

  4. Mornings are hard! It's often a rush to get all 3 boys bundled up and ready to walk down and meet the schoolbus on time. Someone always seems like, "I have to go pee!" at the last minute. Love your Christmas tree pics!

  5. “Mornings are hard on Mommies" - isn't that the truth! Especially the mornings I get up and make us breakfast, pack the lunch for school and get my son to school and me to work by 7:30.

  6. This is real life, my friend. You are an amazing mom and we all have those kind of mornings. In fact I had one like that today :)

  7. Yes a good friend will certainly do that. I LOVE the photos - what a great shot of Shaune and Deaglan putting the star on the tree.

  8. Getting two kids ready and off to school/daycare 5 days a week is no small feat and can only be accomplished with at least one swear word. :-)

    Merry Christmas Friend!

  9. Oh...mornings...
    But, we ARE blessed for having the title Mother, even though it comes with much frustration at times. I'm learning to hold on to the joy-filled times. Happy Holidays sweet friend! xxO

  10. You are a blessing to your boys. You are an inspirational mom to me. By the way, I ate two cookies before 10 am this morning...not the best example, I


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