Saturday, 12 January 2013

Shaky commitments

On my run this morning I was listening to some of the greats –you know, Ludacris, Jayzee, P Diddy, when a city bus blocked my path. The driver got out and strolled into the Starbucks. The passengers looked on, they didn’t seem the least bit peeved. It was Saturday after all.

The driver’s body language was unapologetic, he walked with one hand in his pants pocket, slow but deliberate, his hair trimmed neatly; he was handsome, maybe 35. He likes a good strong coffee, I thought. Maybe he’ likes a coffee joint who gives its employees a decent wage and benefits. Maybe he's an advocate of fair trade. Who knows?

I ran past, crunched the snow-covered boulevard, and went back to admiring Sean Kingston’s rapping. I had no clue what he was talking about but liked it nonetheless. 

I considered what I wanted to accomplish this year. I don’t bother much with resolutions but it’s almost impossible not to think about them a little when you’ve got a fresh new year ahead.

Over the Christmas break Deaglan called me out on one of my failings. “You never play with me anymore,” he said. Shaune looked up from his phone. This oughtta be good, he probably thought. I’ve said it before; I just don’t know how he does it. He plays with the kids all the time. Me? I cuddle. I kiss. I snuggle. I read. But I can’t seem to get the playing part down.

It feels like swimming to me.

When I’m in a pool for exercise purposes, 15 minutes feels like seven hours. And I keep looking up at the clock. But after that day, I tried harder. I started with the easy stuff. We played Candyland over and over. We did Spiderman puzzles. I’ve been working my way up to role play, the hardest kind of play for me. 

I just never know what to say when I have to be the evil Batman.

And I’ve been thinking about how little I wrote last year. It bothers me every single day because I think about writing almost all the time. But I don’t sit down to do it because well, because there’s laundry to fold, dishes to put away, the kids to snuggle, and I’m at work all day.

More play. More writing. Sounds good doesn’t it?


  1. More play, more writing sounds good to me, my friend!!! I miss reading your posts :) You are doing amazing. You look awesome! I can't wait to read more :)

  2. Playing and writing ... on my radar as well. It's so important to remember to find the time to do both, but vitally important. Good luck :-)

  3. a working mom's list never ends. maybe a good resolution would be to organize, consolidate, eliminate things on the list. and put play 30 min per day at the top. to maybe the toilet gets cleaned twice a week but play happens everyday. when they turn 15 or so they won't want you to play anymore - then you can clean toilets.
    those fat little feet are made just for kissing....

  4. It's the resolutions that sound the simplest that are the hardest to accomplish. Just so you know I struggle with playing with my kids too. I got bored quickly with pretending and board games even when I was a kid. I never even had an imaginary friend!

  5. That is really interesting - Deaglan's comment. I feel like I am often so busy giving myself to the kids in the form of doing stuff for them that I crave time for me. When it comes time to play I just need a break.

    For example, I have been busy getting stuff ready for my daughter's birthday party. She stopped me and asked if I would play princesses. My reply was, "Sorry, Honey, but I need to finish things for your party." I thought about that and considered, will she remember the party or the play time we had. It is a tough balancing act. My goals are very much the same as yours. When I do play with them, I have a great time.

  6. I always felt like I never had enough time for 'play' when the kids were little. Work, running errands, housework, homework, extracurricular activies...there were always reasons 'not' to play. Now, I'd put everything on hold to have those precious moments back. There is just something so amazing about the innocence of children when the play. Enjoy your wee ones...they'll be big before you know it!

  7. Yay for running!!
    I think it's amazing that you work so hard to support your boys. Good job mommy. :-)

  8. Yeah, I've never liked playing very much. I was more of a cuddler and book-reader when my kids were young.

  9. More play, more writing...sounds good to me too. :)


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