Forever young

May the good lord be with you down every road you roam.

And may sunshine and happiness surround you when you're far from home.

And may you grow to be proud, dignified and true.

And do unto others as you'd have done to you.

Be courageous and be brave, and in my heart you'll always stay

Forever young...

May good fortune be with you may your guiding light be strong.

Build a stairway to heaven with a prince or a vagabond.

And may you never love in vain and in my heart you'll always remain

Forever young...

And when you finally fly away I'll be hoping that I served you well

For all the wisdom of a lifetime no one can ever tell.

But whatever road you choose, I'm right behind you, win or lose

Forever young...

-Rod Stewart

Happy Birthday Puppy we love you!

Birthday for Two

Deaglan will turn two on Christmas Eve. We've tried to separate Christmas and his birthday by holding a party a week or so prior. Then on Christmas Eve we will celebrate it again with Shaune's family. Here are some of the best shots. I would have included more but most of us had one eye closed or were just putting our forks into our mouths when the camera turned on us.

Shaune didn't fail us and put out a delicious spread as usual including freshly made vegetarian sushi, shrimp cocktail, his own guacamole and taco dip, meatballs, bruschetta with goat cheese, cilantro, tomato and kalmata olive, and much more.
Thomas was included of course and Deaglan has talked of little other than blowing candles. (I made sure to grab the cupcakes from the back rows to serve our guests).

The arrival of Cousin Asia was greatly anticipated and the two hardly left each others' sides. Asia is almost seven and Deaglan easily thinks she is the greatest person ever to live.

I'm sure next year Cousin Farrah will be joining in the running and screaming.

It was a fun day and we want to thank all of our friends and family for making it a wonderful celebration.

Prologue

I've never been a big fan of Christmas but know that this will not do in my near future. It's not the essence of the holiday that I disdain; it's all the hype and marketing that comes with it. When people ask if you if you're ready for Christmas what they really mean is - are you finished buying. I know that this is what it has come to mean in our society.

Luckily I still have a little time to grumble because Deaglan doesn't quite get it yet. Oh we've been doing our due diligence - pointing out Santa, teaching him a few carols, decorating our house and getting him excited about the tree and lights. But I'm still trying to figure out what angle I'll take when he really does understand. I'm not naive, I know that Santa and presents and all the magic surrounding that will be a part of it but I don't feel all that passionate about it.

On the other hand I don't want it to be all about Jesus and his birth either. We have a manger scene on display and Deaglan is quite fascinated by the baby but only because it is a tiny toy-like figure that he would like to get his hands on. The truth is, I don't know if Christmas has ever held real meaning for me.

This year at work we sponsored a less fortunate family and gave them a "Christmas" meaning we bought gifts and food for them. And within our family we took half of the budget we had for each other and helped out a family member with bills and groceries. This all felt pretty good.

I want my children to enjoy Christmas but I don't want them to get completely lost in the 'getting of gifts'. I like the idea of giving to where it's needed. Someone at work suggested that instead of giving the boss a gift why don't we donate some money on his behalf. Others didn't like this idea. Grumble.

I'll have to change my tune by next year for sure. I'll have two little ones by then and one will be fully charged for the season. I'll let you know what angle I've taken then. I hope I don't totally sell out.

Deaglan is wearing a turtleneck sewn and sent by our beautiful friend Jenn at T Rex Mom and Dad Tales. We love it!!

Sunday Citar

I've always loved the first two lines of this Khalil Gibran poem. But recently I read the entire thing and it stopped me. It is rich and layered and inspires me to be the best parent I can be. I hope your Sunday has been simple and happy.

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;

For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Kahlil Gibran

A quiet night out

We mistakenly went out for dinner to a quiet ethnic restaurant last night. It was all my doing. I just had to have Indian - nothing else would do. We weren't thinking. We left the house unprepared. We didn't do our research or carefully plan.

When we arrived, we noticed that we were only the third table in the entire place. I quickly flipped the menu over to find the kids menu. There wasn't one. Our server asked us if we needed a highchair or a booster. Shaune and I looked at each other worriedly and said neither.

You see, recently we packed away the highchair, tried a booster seat for a few weeks and finally gave up when Deaglan would only settle for a dining room chair. Every night it takes a lot of effort, chiding, threats and sometimes louder-than-we-ever-thought-we'd talk-to-our-child telling to get him to sit for even five minutes straight.

So there we were at this very quiet restaurant. The other two tables hosted each a young couple who I swear wore the pronouncement that they would never ever want children like red flags on their backs. I'm not making it up when I say that these people looked like they felt all children were a nuisance. And I'm positive that our presence only certified their feelings were true.

Because Deaglan did not miraculously morph into a cooperative quiet little person. He stayed his usual curious, grabby, I-don't-do-sitting-still self. And Shaune and I became nervous jittery wrecks as if we had brought a bomb into a building without the foggiest clue of how to diffuse it if it went off.

So after I confirmed that there indeed was no children's menu (you may recall some of my posts complaining that Deaglan only eats cheese and cheerios), I asked our server if she had some crayons and a piece of paper. I would have settled for borrowing her pen and unfolding a napkin at that point. Thankfully she had a blank place mat and plastic cup full of broken crayons.

I told Shaune to hurry up and decide on his meal so we could order as soon as the server came back with our drinks. No sense testing Deaglan's limits at a time like this. Unfortunately we didn't have to wait long for him to reach these limits.

I ordered him a plate of steamed basmati rice and some cheese-filled nan bread. I absent-mindedly gave him a spoon to eat the rice with. That's when the concert started. He first jumped off of his chair and began drumming on the chair. As I tried discreetly to grab him he escaped my reach and ran toward a brick wall and learned what a lovely scraping noise the spoon made against it. By this point white rice covered the floor beneath us. I began the chase while Shaune crouched to the floor to pick up the rice. Once I caught up to him, with teeth clenched, I grabbed his arm and suggested we go for a walk to the front of the restaurant to see the Christmas tree.

Dumb, dumb, dumb.

His first instinct of course was to grab the garland and beads. I picked him up but this only caused wailing and crying to let him down. Out of breath and pregnant I calmed him and brought him back to the table. Our food had arrived. The server asked if we needed anything else. We'll try the highchair I suggested desperately.

This entire time I was too afraid to look over at the other tables. I didn't want to see their disapproving looks. I did notice however that there was not a single chuckle or awwww so cute directed our way.

We were able to eat a few bites and then just gave up and asked that our food be packaged for home. I always swore I would never be one of those parents who scolds and yells at her kids in public. And I didn't last night but I am seriously re-considering this foolish oath I made.

Love letter to a baby

Dear Baby,

this is you at 11.5 weeks. I know it's early to start a dialogue with you but I really wanted to tell a bit about your big brother.

But first I want to say that it was such a relief to finally confirm that you were in my tummy this morning. When the Ultrasound technician was first taking measurements and probing around with the thingy they use, I tried to read her face. She was virtually expression-less. I could hardly breathe from the anxiety I was feeling. I mean I knew you were in there but you can't imagine the worry that goes through a pregnant woman's mind especially these first few months. So when she finally turned the screen toward me and I could see your glorious little form in my sac I wanted to laugh and cry. I exhaled and silently thanked God for you.

Anyway, back to your big brother. Just a few things. We're trying to get him prepped for your arrival. I figure it's not too early. We have our work cut out for us though. For instance, I've told him several times that you are a baby in my tummy. But later when I ask him where the baby is, he insists on pointing to himself and saying baby. Don't worry though, I think this could work itself out with a lot of repitition on my part. Also, your Dad and I have begun the arduous task of teaching him about sharing. I gotta be honest with you - he's not all that into it. But we know how important this will be for your arrival so we won't give up.

And Baby, we don't by any means want to encourage competition between you and your brother. We already know that we love you just as infinitely as we do him. However, if you feel strongly about defeating him on a few things may we suggest that you make your debut as a champion sleeper. It would raise a few eyebrows and the way we see it, it could be a win for all of us. No pressure though.

I also wanted to include you in this letter to celebrate with me the eve of your big brother's 23 month birthday. In a month and a day he will be two. I don't want to say I can't believe it because frankly I don't remember a time when I didn't know him. Okay I do remember but life seemed to have become exponentially more joyful since he came into our lives. After you establish your place here (and you can count on your Dad and me to help you with this) I think you will really like your big bro. He's pretty funny and has a wonderful heart.

Love always,
Mommy.

God woke me up

I've been soooooooo tired and feeling unbelievably nauseated and that's why I haven't posted lately. I'm sure some of you have guessed that I am pregnant. I'm only about nine weeks along and sadly already almost into maternity clothes. My body seems to have been just waiting for this chance to pop back into form. And as I had imagined, it is tricky business being pregnant with a busy toddler.

Oh and the busy toddler? He's been sick too. On Tuesday we stood in line for the H1N1 vaccine - here in Canada they are offering it to high risk groups first. Since Deaglan is between six months and five years he fit into this category. So with a little planning on Shaune's part we were able to get through the line-up within an hour. I was going to brag about this to all of you but then the events of a few days later changed my mind. Back to that in a minute.

That night after he was vaccinated, he developed a low-grade fever. We were warned that this might happen so I gave him some Motrin and tucked him into bed. I did my usual check a few hours later to make sure he had enough blankets and wasn't hanging off of the side of his bed and his temperature was fine.

At two in the morning I woke up out of a very sound sleep to music playing through the baby monitor. It was the first song on a CD that Deaglan falls asleep to every night (some lovely lullabies on a Fisher Price CD). I looked at the alarm clock to see if maybe our power had gone out making everything restart when it came back. Nope. I felt paralyzed. There was no good reason that the music would be playing. Deaglan would have had to find his step-stool in the dark and find the play button for this to make any sense. The CD player was new - just two months old. Stupid, scary thoughts raced through my mind. Kidnapping. But what kind of a kidnapper presses play before leaving?? I pulled my act together and went into Deaglan's room.

Everything was in order. Except that my little monkey boy was burning up with fever. I ran downstairs for some ice water and baby Tylenol. I barely slept after that checking on him every hour or so. I called in sick for the next two days - I have a wonderful understanding employment situation. By 2:30 that following afternoon, I packed us up and headed to Emergency. I couldn't keep the fever down alternating between Tylenol and Motrin every three hours. We were there for several hours. And every time someone would come by the bed to take Deaglan's temperature or check his other vitals he would cry and say All done, all done.

I think he's on the mend now. God works in mysterious ways though don't you think??