Gone baby...gone

Today I learned a few things. Like the fact that my baby is quickly entering into toddler-hood and that I need to stop wearing my low-rise jeans with my full figured granny briefs. Too much information? Please hear me out.

Before doing some grocery shopping, I decided to compete for the Greatest Mom Award and take Deaglan to the park, then to the toystore and then to the bookstore.
When we got to the park I was completely unprepared for the wind. Literally unprepared. I had Deaglan outfitted in a very light jacket and baseball hat. Earlier when I checked, the sun was shining and I was fooled into dressing for a warm spring day. So, realizing it was too late to turn back - he'd already spotted the swings - I decided to do a very shortened version of going to the park. We spent a few minutes on the swings, climbed up to the big tin symbol so he could bang it around like a crazed lunatic (you wouldn't believe the wild look he gets on his face while pounding on what looks like the top of a metal garbage can), and then finally, did two runs down the slide together. After this I let him know that it was time to go back to the car.

Fit number one and exhibit A of bad jeans/granny underwear combo: He dropped to his knees right there on the pavement and began screeching and crying at me. Only seconds earlier I was holding his hand so now it looked like I was dragging him along. I looked around to see if anyone was watching this amazing new ability he had developed. What was this? A tantrum? When did these start? Ever so carefully I bent down, pulling my t-shirt down over my now very visible enormous light-blue briefs, grabbed the kid, scanned the park to see if anyone was snickering or worse yet coming toward me with the fashion police to make an arrest.

Determined to at least be a runner-up in my make-believe parent-pageant I headed to Toys R Us where I plopped him down in front of the Thomas the Train display while I scrutinized the shelves trying to decide on an addition to our growing Thomas collection. Once decided, I went over, grabbed Deaglan and headed toward the check-out.

Fit number two and exhibit B of terrible jean-underwear combo: This time he arched his back and I had to decide whether to drop the diaper bag and train parts or drop him. Of course I chose the former but this meant I had to bend over again and show what seemed like every family within a 10 km radius my hideous fashion choices.

I hurriedly paid for the toy and lugged the package, diaper bag and wailing boy next door to the bookstore/Starbucks with the aim of quieting him down with a drink and snack. Wouldn't you know it that the only empty chairs were in front of their Thomas the train display. While I rifled through the diaper bag he walked right over to a little girl and grabbed the Percy engine she was holding. The little girl understandably started crying but instead of giving it back my little angel started screaming at her. Who was this and where was my sweet little baby??

I finally did get the grocery shopping done but not without a ton of bribary - I handed over the car keys, my cell phone, an empty raisin box, a pack of gum and even my wallet to keep the child from throwing another of these fits justifying this by telling myself that when I got home I would research some parenting sites and prepare myself for this new phase of mommy-hood. I also made a mental note to go underwear shopping.
I'm home now and I am spent!