Me and my little family minus the cat were at Chapter's a few weeks ago. For you, my international friends, Chapter's is Canada's big bookstore. Shaune was checking out cookbooks and Deaglan and I were over in the children's section playing with Thomas and his other train friends. Just before we were ready to leave I saw my friend and colleague who had moved jobs while I was on maternity leave. Although we periodically checked in with each other over Facebook, I hadn't seen her since before I had Deaglan. This is how the conversation went:
Me: Oh my God you're pregnant!!! (As I rub her tummy) Congratulations - it's about time!
Her (not smiling at all): No I'm actually not.
Me (feeling light-headed and nauseaus): Oh my God, I'm so sorry. It's just that you're usually so thin. (Okay honestly please God help me to stop talking)
Her: (Most likely wondering why she hasn't punched me in the face or just walked away) Yeah, I gained some weight.
Me: (almost crying now while still trying to keep an eye on Deaglan who is trying to pull books off the shelves - where the hell is Shaune when I need him?) Please, please I don't know what I'm saying, I can't believe I just said that. (hugging her)
Her: (weakly) No honest it's okay. I get that all the time.
Me: (trying to change the subject) So how are you?
This conversation went on for at least another agonizing fifteen minutes where everything I said just made me sound even more crazy and insensitive. I have never wished more for a fire alarm or a hostage situation or an alien invasion.
Oh nooooooooooooo! That's one of those situations where as you're trying to get the first foot out of your mouth, you accidentally stick the other one in there too.
ReplyDeleteI am definitely one of those people who make it worse while trying to make it better. I feel your pain.
oh god. what a nightmare!!!
ReplyDeletesadly i was on the receiving end of this comment once when i was wearing overall shorts. i will never wear them again!
and i need to do some situps, stat!
it'll be ok. try not to fret. we all live and learn. sadly i have to learn the hard way on most stuff!!!
Kim-I make a thousand mistakes a day. some are big. I also have no filter. But I never outwardly assume someone is preggo. At last not anymore. Ouch! It'll pass. ~rick
ReplyDeleteMy sister is short waisted, and she never wanted children, never had any, but she used to get this all the time. I used to feel so bad for her.
ReplyDeleteShe also lives quite close to Chapters.
Argh...how embarrassing. One of those totally awkward moments. Well, at least you probably won't see her for a while.
ReplyDeleteWe all have those - fear not. Oh, I do have some Thomas material (for obvious reasons) and I will get to work on the backpack soon. Give me a few weeks and I will notify before shipping.
How's the weaning - still alright and not too stressful? We're sending you positive thoughts.
I've said way too much in certain situations too. You made an honest mistake. Anyone who truly knows you would not hold a wrong observation against you. Any of us could make that kind of mistake. How awkward for you. I would have been looking for the nearest exit too! By the way, a future blogging Canada trip sounds great to me :)
ReplyDeleteOh, I am so sorry. I can relate. I've most unfortunately learned the hard way...and now I'm so afraid of making that mistake again that I never comment on someone's pregnancy, no matter how pregnant they look - unless I know for sure that they are. Some people who are most obviously very pregnant probably think I'm crazy, because I won't comment about it, unless they open the conversation to the subject first.
ReplyDeleteoh my! that could be a LITTLE embarrassing! for the both of you! at least you did feel bad for accidentally assuming she was pregnant....some people have no clue that they were wrong! I was asked if I was pregnant again after I had allie...and ofcourse i wasnt....it did feel awful....but it got me to start working out!!
ReplyDeleteBeen there, done that - makes you want to DIE - on the spot. I blame the empire waisted -babydoll look of things these days - ugh. I will NEVER make the assumption someone is pregnant ever again (I should know better - after 4 of my own, that pooch just doesn't go away!)
ReplyDeleteOooh, honey! I'm sorry. How awkward that must have been. But you know, you're not the only one. My mom once congratulated her sister-in-law for being pregnant, and she most definitely wasn't. So no worries :)
ReplyDeletei have put on so much weight around my tummy, I am now an apple instead of a pear. It would cheer me up immensely, if you thought i had a reason for looking big out front.Bless you, Kim, come over here and say it to me!!!!!
ReplyDeleteNo use beating yourself up unecessarily ~ this too shall pass.xx♥
Oh Kim, wow. Good for you for hanging in there. We have all had those awkward moments. I now go to the extreme--a woman can look 8 months pregnant and I wait for her to mention something before I say anything. I know-ridiculous. :)
ReplyDelete