Friday 3 July 2009

Shut up already!!


Me and my little family minus the cat were at Chapter's a few weeks ago. For you, my international friends, Chapter's is Canada's big bookstore. Shaune was checking out cookbooks and Deaglan and I were over in the children's section playing with Thomas and his other train friends. Just before we were ready to leave I saw my friend and colleague who had moved jobs while I was on maternity leave. Although we periodically checked in with each other over Facebook, I hadn't seen her since before I had Deaglan. This is how the conversation went:
Me: Oh my God you're pregnant!!! (As I rub her tummy) Congratulations - it's about time!
Her (not smiling at all): No I'm actually not.
Me (feeling light-headed and nauseaus): Oh my God, I'm so sorry. It's just that you're usually so thin. (Okay honestly please God help me to stop talking)
Her: (Most likely wondering why she hasn't punched me in the face or just walked away) Yeah, I gained some weight.
Me: (almost crying now while still trying to keep an eye on Deaglan who is trying to pull books off the shelves - where the hell is Shaune when I need him?) Please, please I don't know what I'm saying, I can't believe I just said that. (hugging her)
Her: (weakly) No honest it's okay. I get that all the time.
Me: (trying to change the subject) So how are you?
This conversation went on for at least another agonizing fifteen minutes where everything I said just made me sound even more crazy and insensitive. I have never wished more for a fire alarm or a hostage situation or an alien invasion.

12 comments:

  1. Oh nooooooooooooo! That's one of those situations where as you're trying to get the first foot out of your mouth, you accidentally stick the other one in there too.

    I am definitely one of those people who make it worse while trying to make it better. I feel your pain.

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  2. oh god. what a nightmare!!!

    sadly i was on the receiving end of this comment once when i was wearing overall shorts. i will never wear them again!

    and i need to do some situps, stat!

    it'll be ok. try not to fret. we all live and learn. sadly i have to learn the hard way on most stuff!!!

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  3. Kim-I make a thousand mistakes a day. some are big. I also have no filter. But I never outwardly assume someone is preggo. At last not anymore. Ouch! It'll pass. ~rick

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  4. My sister is short waisted, and she never wanted children, never had any, but she used to get this all the time. I used to feel so bad for her.

    She also lives quite close to Chapters.

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  5. Argh...how embarrassing. One of those totally awkward moments. Well, at least you probably won't see her for a while.

    We all have those - fear not. Oh, I do have some Thomas material (for obvious reasons) and I will get to work on the backpack soon. Give me a few weeks and I will notify before shipping.

    How's the weaning - still alright and not too stressful? We're sending you positive thoughts.

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  6. I've said way too much in certain situations too. You made an honest mistake. Anyone who truly knows you would not hold a wrong observation against you. Any of us could make that kind of mistake. How awkward for you. I would have been looking for the nearest exit too! By the way, a future blogging Canada trip sounds great to me :)

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  7. Oh, I am so sorry. I can relate. I've most unfortunately learned the hard way...and now I'm so afraid of making that mistake again that I never comment on someone's pregnancy, no matter how pregnant they look - unless I know for sure that they are. Some people who are most obviously very pregnant probably think I'm crazy, because I won't comment about it, unless they open the conversation to the subject first.

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  8. oh my! that could be a LITTLE embarrassing! for the both of you! at least you did feel bad for accidentally assuming she was pregnant....some people have no clue that they were wrong! I was asked if I was pregnant again after I had allie...and ofcourse i wasnt....it did feel awful....but it got me to start working out!!

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  9. Been there, done that - makes you want to DIE - on the spot. I blame the empire waisted -babydoll look of things these days - ugh. I will NEVER make the assumption someone is pregnant ever again (I should know better - after 4 of my own, that pooch just doesn't go away!)

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  10. Oooh, honey! I'm sorry. How awkward that must have been. But you know, you're not the only one. My mom once congratulated her sister-in-law for being pregnant, and she most definitely wasn't. So no worries :)

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  11. i have put on so much weight around my tummy, I am now an apple instead of a pear. It would cheer me up immensely, if you thought i had a reason for looking big out front.Bless you, Kim, come over here and say it to me!!!!!

    No use beating yourself up unecessarily ~ this too shall pass.xx♥

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  12. Oh Kim, wow. Good for you for hanging in there. We have all had those awkward moments. I now go to the extreme--a woman can look 8 months pregnant and I wait for her to mention something before I say anything. I know-ridiculous. :)

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