By some standards I'm considered an older mom. I didn't have Deaglan till I was in my 'late' thirties meaning over 35. A lot of the people I went to highschool with and who I only recently caught up with again through Facebook had kids when they were in their 20's - some of them in their early 20's. More than a few of them have teenagers.
Sometimes I wish I had started earlier so that I didn't feel this sense of urgency to finish all the childbearing before it is too late. Sort of like dumping the entire allowable chunk of money into your RSP's the day before income taxes are due instead of contributing at a steady rate throughout the year.
But some people are ready earlier and others need to get some things sorted out. I can't say that I was busy travelling the world or building a lucrative career, or whatever else is an acceptable excuse as to why people wait to marry and settle down. I just needed that extra time.
My friend Sarah said the other day that people like us (her and I and others who waited until later) just skipped our first marriages. We went straight to the second one. We spent the first marriage alone, partying and drinking too much, waitressing and bartending longer than we should have, procrastinating about everything, paying off education debts we incurred that never paid off and pipe dreaming about careers that were a fantasy drilled into us by our predecessors.
So here I am, at 38 not even married for a full year, with my first baby feeling a bit undone that I didn't start sooner. Mentally I do the math all the time, making myself a little nutty and try not to get depressed.
When he's 25, I'll be 63 and if he's like me he still won't be married and what if I'm not around to see him get married and what if he doesn't have kids till after I'm gone but people live longer nowadays but then look at all the new cancers that pop up all the time - did you know that deodorant and underwire bras can cause breast cancer???!!
Would I have been as an effective mother at 25 as I am now? I know - no. Could I have made him the centre of my universe like he is now? Maybe. I don't know. We all get to where we want to go at our own pace. It's tough though sometimes living in this world where we constantly measure ourselves and each other by standards that we've established that don't mean anything.