Without sounding like a broken record again, I think I've said a few times that Naveen is not a talented sleeper yet. I'm exhausted most days. I thought that I could stomach trying the crying-it-out method but I was wrong. So we're back to co-sleeping which really isn't working. He can never sleep for longer than a forty minute stretch. Yada, yada, yada.
Despite this I'm constantly amazed at how motherhood gifts us with this special perspective. Even without a full hour of sleep most nights, I fall deeper and deeper in love with Naveen every day. With almost no effort I can elicit the most wonderful toothless grins. Grins that leave me smiling to myself like a fool, grins that warm me from my toes all the way up. And I'm not sure who I will ever convince to watch the reels of video I've taken this past week of him almost rolling over but to this mother, these small feats are glorious accomplishments.
Umrigar said through one of her characters about feeding her hungry child, it was as if you were being filled up yourself. I've felt this. On days when I can get a well balanced nutritious meal into Deaglan, it's as if I've been nourished myself. Those days are few with my picky eater.
And Picoult in one of her novels said that we spend much of our lives looking for our true loves in a partner only to realize that our real true loves are our children.
It's hard not to feel like I'm truly home when I look at my two boys.