I'll bet you're wondering why you married me, huh?
Especially after you saw these cupcakes above. Did you know they took me three hours to make? That's not counting the planning and shopping.
But here's the thing, I had big plans. I consulted a cookbook (a Kind gift
I am NOT dismissing). I read the recipe and thought - this is exactly what we need,a healthy yet delicious treat. You'll get your blueberry cheesecake and we'll sneak some squash and spinach into Deaglan without him suspecting a thing! Win, win.
Honey, you and I both know that I have no natural ability in the kitchen. But I can follow a recipe. I did everything this comedian's wife told me to do. I pureed fresh spinach. I used the food processor and the electric mixer. Both of these tools make me sweat with anxiety just thinking about them.
I had big plans. I bought candles. I imagined us waking up this morning and walking into the living room busting out the birthday song. I pictured you saying something like you made these by yourself??? ARe you sure you didn't buy them at a fancy bakery?
Once I had convinced you that yes, I indeed did create these works of art, you would have said something like - ahhh but cupcakes for breakfast? We should wait until after lunch. And that's exactly when I would drop that beautiful bomb - they are healthy cupcakes!
I had no back up plan.
I thought the cupcakes could be the entire birthday extravaganza. I imagined you wanting to take a few to work to share with your coworkers. Maybe one of them would send me a quick email to compliment me on how well they turned out. Flashes of all of you standing around the water cooler shaking your heads in disbelief. So good and with vegetables hidden in them.
Thanks for being on my side about this. Thanks for saying that it was the recipe. I couldn't agree with you more. I loved what you said about not believing Mrs. Comedian's Wife actually profited from that cookbook. It felt right when you suggested I just stop using that cookbook. I love when you support me.
And you're right, we didn't need the extra calories a birthday treat would have cost our figures. How nice that we can treat this day just like any other. Happy birthday honey. And when you figure it out, let me know what we're having for dinner. I'll bet you've got something special planned eh?