Saturday, 18 August 2012

On four years

It was our wedding anniversary yesterday.

Shaune said, “Really, only four years?” I knew what he meant. It’s a lot of work we’ve been doing only to be at year four. In reality it’s been the better part of 20 years.

We never even talked about getting married till after Deaglan came. It wasn’t something we’d been dreaming of. But there was a point where it felt odd introducing people to my son and boyfriend. Modern day feminists will likely cringe but I wanted my life to seem more “legitimate”.

It’s not what you’re supposed to say, I know.

I should probably tell you that Shaune was the answer to all of my prayers. He was the perfect fit – the one I’d been waiting for all my livelong days. But we try to keep it real around here.

And if you're Deaglan, casual.

Naveen just recently acquired an appreciation for the swing. For about three seconds I was thrilled to see him growing this way. I got over it though. Once you agree to put him on one, you are imprisoned by his constant demand to “push me wayhighup into the sky mama.”

I put my thinking cap on this week because I wanted to honour our relationship in an authentic way. I didn’t want to sicken you with – “my life is so perfect” or “we are living out our flawless marriage.” Not because I’m trying to make a point or be controversial. But because I know Shaune will read this too and he expects more than that from me.

We had backward day by the way. 

I stole the idea from my friend Crystal. It’s where you let your kids have dessert before dinner. When she told me about it a few years ago I promised to implement it when our kids were old enough. In truth, we might have started tonight so we could finish our drinks before dinner.

 Or kill two birds with one stone and get Naveen off the bloody swing.

It wasn't too hard to think of some of the things I'm grateful for in Shaune. 

He's a terrific father. The boys couldn't ask for a more fun, tolerant, gentle and hilarious Dad. And this weekend he finished our main level floors. Since he's been on a hiatus from teaching, he ripped up all the mismatched laminate and carpet; replaced them with a dark stained laminate. He also replaced baseboards, added trim to our archways and plans to paint any outstanding windows and doors to match. Once he starts a project, he finishes it. I'm grateful for that.  

He also tells me I'm beautiful even on my most vulnerable days. 

It’s all we did though. The martinis I mean. There was no expensive dinner out, no weekend getaway. Shaune made a lovely chicken stir fry over rice and we ate it while we took turns pushing the kids on the swing. Happy Anniversary Shaune.


  1. Happy 4 years! We are having our 4 yr anniversary on Sept 6th...some days it definitely seems as if we have been married for 20, everything we've been through!

    Love the pictures of you pushing the swing with the drink in your hand- MY KIND OF MAMA! ;) hehe

    Cute kids!!!!

  2. Happy Anniversary to you and the missing piece to your puzzle!

  3. Ah! so beautiful... You know, Kim I have been going through this myself... this knowledge of a relationship, of being true with and to someone, of being able to let yourself be vulnerable to that one person. It all seems so different and strange to me, because I have always tried to make my life the feminist way. But, as I go further into my life, my 24th year, I learn so much more these little things...

    Thank you for sharing this. :)

  4. Happy Anniversary to you both!! It sounds like the perfect way to spend your special day. And backwards day sounds divine!!
    Also? I don't believe in perfect, flawless marriages...something is wrong if it's perfect.

  5. I love you Kim, and I love this post so much! If you lived next door we'd be best friends and suck down buckets full of martinis together. I always know when I come to your blog I will find something in what you say that speaks to my heart. Always!

    Congrats on "4" years, and here's to the next 4 too:)

  6. Happy Aniversary love birds!!
    Love love love your blogs and your boys keep getting more and more precious.

    Staying home and celebrating with your kids = priceless!!!!!

  7. Happy Anniversary! It actually sounds like a great day. Sometimes I just love staying in with a nice glass of wine (or martinis).

  8. If I had a husband that could cook like yours I may never go out to eat again.

    It actually sounds like a simply perfect anniversary celebration. Plus, it sounds also like you won the lottery three times with that wonderful husband and 2 handsome boys.

    I'm a fan of eating my ice cream first, too!

  9. Happy Anniversary! And I don't think at all that you should worry about the feminists--marriage is a beautiful thing. Even on the hard days. So congrats for the 20 years. That is truly remarkable.

  10. He's a chef and he's handy??!!! Oh yeah!
    Happy Anniversary to you both and I love "Backwards Day". xoxoxo You guys are beautiful...

  11. Shaune is a keeper for sure!! Backwards Day is a great idea. You are an awesome family in every way. Now you got me wanting some chocolate ice cream...

    Happy Belated Anniversary!


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