Friday, 22 February 2013

An Ode to Robert Redford

One evening, in early April, when Deaglan was just four months old, Shaune and I grabbed the baby monitor, two ice cold Coronas corked with fresh lime and headed to the front porch. It was the first patio night of the year. The first swallow of alcohol I’d had since before I got pregnant.

We sipped our beers in silence. There was plenty to see on that warm spring night, the soft tinkling of lullabies from the monitor our background music.

Cars drove slowly past, their windows rolled down, and the people within smiling and friendly. Bikers and hikers moved along the sidewalks, in no hurry to reach their destinations. Even the red maple out front swayed gently in the temperate breeze, its luscious green shoots seeming to inhale the air all around; giddy with the exuberance that spring could be here to stay.

I always think of that night when I’m up to my elbows in February’s shenanigans.

It’s doing me in I’m afraid, and yesterday might have been the last straw.

In the morning a hard rain fell. It began after I’d already left the house which was nothing short of spectacular considering I needed to make multiple stops on the way. I arrived at work and caught sight of my reflection in a window: Alice Cooper with slightly better fashion sense. 

By late afternoon the rain had turned to icy slanting snow rendering my hoodless coat ornamental and my umbrella near useless. And at the car I could have wept when I realized I’d left the snow brush and scraper back home on the ledge of the porch.

I wasn’t cut out for this kind of ambivalence.

If April is the Robert Redford of weather, golden, handsome and weak-in-the-knees  dreamy like in The Way We Were, then February is Jason Alexander in Pretty Woman. Short, yes, but full of unnecessary drama and kind of mean. Definitely no George Costanza.

Which is all to say, February you suck.

I’ve raised my white flag, searched out solace.  I've taken extreme therapeutic measures: curative chocolate, remedial movie style popcorn and necessary but moderate doses of Argentinean Cabernet.  

I’ve also made regular commune with the great shamans of my mind – Fashion blogs, Netflix, and of course Anne Lamott who says in Help, Thanks, Wow, The three essential prayers  on page 27 “If I were going to begin practicing the presence of God for the first time today, it would help to begin by admitting the three most terrible truths of our existence: that we are so ruined, and so loved, and in charge of so little.”

Let me boldly add this fourth terrible truth - I really thought global warming was going to kick February in the teeth for good.

How's February treating you where you live?


  1. February is the coldest month, right? winter's last hurray before Spring. I have a general dislike for the cold but I can't complain after reading about your day. Last Friday it was 75 degrees Celsius, so warm that I wore a t-shirt. This Friday was in the 60s. I'm still waiting for Spring though

  2. I am sad you are struggling with February. I have to say I woke up a bit dismayed that it snowed this morning. Spring where are you? I am tired of coats and cold. Our month has been good. It just seems to keep going and going being bust and busy. I need to slow down and do calm things like you recant in you posting.

  3. Ha ha, what a great comparison. Love it! Hate February though. With a passion.

  4. I can relate Kim! Spring takes forever to come here. The danger of frost doesn't even pass until after Mothers Day!

    Our heating bills have been through the roof this year-the only global warming I notice seems to be inside:)

    Try to hang in there, my friend!

  5. Even though I'm way further south than you, February is weird here. We can have highs in the 70s one day and the next, they're predicting snow (as is currently happening here). I'm thankful for mild temps most of the time, but there are days where the weather is so extreme that I just don't know what to expect!

  6. I'm SO over Winter... Bring on the springtime! :)

  7. I have always despised winter. I'm a summer or spring girl at heart. This post had me cracking me up. Yes, February does suck and he is exactly like Jason Alexander in Pretty Woman. ;)

  8. I hate February. Both for the cold gray dreariness of it all and for Valentine's day. But April will be here soon!

  9. Oh, February...I'm so glad it's over with. I'd like to erase it from my memory forever.
    And Robert Redford is sooooo dreamy. Everyone makes fun of me because they say he's old. I guess that makes me old too.


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