Sunday, 9 February 2014

When did this happen?

My university roommate once told me that for a while, her younger brother was calling their mother “Old Yeller”. She, her sisters and Mom could not figure out how he knew of the movie or the main character’s name. Finally they asked him, “Tyler, why do you call Mom Old Yeller?”

“Because she’s old and she yells at me.”

He was five.

I haven’t been called anything so offensive, and frankly downright ageist, yet, but regularly hear that I’m really, really mean, or unfair, and often when no words carry the weight of the fury they’re feeling, simply, “I hate you Mom.”

Also, I’m not sure if my kids understand age. Naveen still thinks it’s all cyclical for some reason. He’s always starting conversations with, “Mom, when I’m weally, weally big and you ah a little boy…” or “Someday when you ah in my tummy and I’m the Mommy…” Deaglan on the other hand, could use a few lessons on regression; that kid can count too high for my liking. Sometimes he’ll ask me how old I am and if I’m feeling particularly girlish and extremely non-premenstrual, I throw caution to the wind and ask him to guess. It goes without saying I’ve finished the better part of a glass of wine at these times.

Lately I’ve thought about my age and mortality more than ever before. I’m trying to come to terms with the idea that I’m “middle-aged”. I mean when did this happen? And while I’m on the subject, where does the kid at the bank get off calling me Mrs. McNamara? Do they not teach simple psychology at bank telling school? Mrs. McNamara = I’m now irritated and defensive. And also? I hate your stupid tie. On the other hand, Kim, in a flirty tone that implies you think we’re close in age = unsolicited calls to your manager raving about your customer service skills.

Have a nice day my ass.

It’s not like I’m on a crusade. I don’t buy anti-aging creams or lotions. I don’t fantasize about Botox. And it’s not for the reasons you might think; it’s not because I don’t believe they work. I’m just too cheap to spend the money and too afraid of the unknown side effects.

A cheap coward.

Also, a part of me hopes to be able to just get on with it. Get old but still have the energy I’ll need to live my life. Get old but deal with it in some semblance of grace. Except when it comes to my hair. I will not deal with grey hair with grace. I will fight those greys right up until the end.

Fight them, do you hear me?


Speaking of aging, Shaune had a birthday at the end of January. He had the nerve to ask me how old I'd be this year. I didn't dignify him with a response. Seriously. How rude. Just wait till next year when he turns 40. He won't be feeling so smug.



I had a bit of time to write a second post today.

Shaune took Deaglan to a birthday party. It left me and Naveen together at home. Here's what I made him for lunch. He'll only eat "snack plates". You can put just about any combination of  his favourite things on it, just make sure you address it properly. Snack plate. Not lunch.


6 comments:

Secret Agent Woman said...

I HATE being called ma'am. But I've reached a different stage with my kids - they are repeatedly surprised by how old I am. When I mention that I'm 51, they say, "Are you sure? I thought you were in your 40's." I'll take it

Kim said...

Smart kids, those boys of yours.

Barbara said...

I still remember the first time I was called ma'am and a little part of me died.

Kim said...

It's so true Barbara! It can never be taken back.

T Rex Mom said...

I was raised calling everyone sir and ma'am and my husband was in the air force where that is standard so I'm not affected by the calling of ma'am.

Remember, too, you are as young as you feel. Try to feel young. And a very happy birthday to Shaune.

By the way, the snack plate looks pretty healthy.

GingerV said...

Ah the topic of 'getting older'. Hopefully it will go on for a long time. I turned 64 this year. Only 6 years to 70..... My children 44 and 45 - now there is a question - how the hell did that happen..... They have gotten so old and i am still 42. I don't mind my increasing gray but i hate... That is HATE how my skin is loose on my arms.... I don't like the saying, 'your as young as you feel'. What does that really mean whan you feel OLD. Break down and buy some face cream.... It isn't about looking younger but about taking care of yourself and your skin holds 'yourself' Later you will thank me for saying to you....take care of your skin. Hugs GingerV

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