Tuesday, 12 May 2009

Why suffer in silence?

Every time I've spilled my guts out to you, friends, I've spent the next day in a state of angst. Did I reveal too much? Did I really need to go that far?

But then I recall some of the blogs that I adore and remember that it is the human-ness that appeals to me. I love the serious and the raw, the humility, the humour, the nonsense and the revealing.

I put myself in your place and ask if I feel judgmental after I've read something deeply personal that you've written. Never. I feel connected to you when you honour me with something classified.

I told someone recently that sometimes I suffer in silence. This has been especially true with motherhood.

On the one hand I want to have the most current information available so I read everything I can. But I'm realizing, as you practiced parents already know, much of parenting is learned through doing. And each phase comes with a set of challenges (exhibit A to the left - he's now able to climb onto the kitchen table) as well as overwhelming marvels.

I've been wrestling with the breastfeeding dilemma on my own, listening to the limited advice my own mind had to offer. Your comments were refreshing to my cyclical thinking. I loved reading about your experiences. Each comment has been a small gift that has filled me with light.


  1. One of the many things that is so compelling about your blog is the honesty with which you write. The Dove was staggering and I have been a faithful reader ever since.
    Keep it comin' please.

  2. One of the most wonderful things about the blogosphere is it gives you a sense of community with people in the same life situation as you, people who can identify, empathize and relate to you in a manner which validates your thoughts, fears, emotions... it makes you realize you are not alone in the world. Other people's kids throw tantrums; your kids are not monsters. Other moms feel guilty when they're delighted to be away from their children; you're not a monster. etc. etc. etc. We're all part of the universal human thread that senses the same emotions, and it's very comforting to know that.

    Pretty deep, huh? lol

  3. Keep talking, sharing, expressing, reflecting, etc. That is what we are here for, to lift each other up and offer support. Much love!

  4. Yes Kim, I feel the same way too, wondering if I share too much.Just today, I have wondered that about my last post- was is appropriate? Here's the thing: We have been given a medium that now allows us to connect with others of our species. No more to be crying alone in the shower, with no hand to hold you, and no ears to listen to your pain and fears.We can share now, it is a gift and a priveledge.Bring it on.xx♥

  5. I agree with you - it is the human-ness that draws me to a particular blog.

    And sharing one's true self is a little exposing. I get what I call a "naked feeling" when I feel I've shared too much. But I usually find it was just me being sensitive and I really did not "share too much".

    And we're also going through the climbing thing but it is waning so there is hope!

  6. Kim, you have such a genuine spirit of goodness. It comes across so beautifully in your writing. The blog can be a place to unleash so much emotion that we (especially as moms) tend to keep to ourselves. How wonderful that we have each other to share our feelings, doubts, concerns and joys in this virtual kind of community. Continue to stay true to yourself as you write these posts. So many of us benefit from your words.

  7. I am struck by your reluctance to reveal too much of your soft underbelly here on your blog, when I hear women divulging what should be held near and dear so readily out in public, so very often. Your trepidation is a testament to your character. It seems to me, this is a GOOD place to share, to explore, to be human.

  8. i totally relate to this! whenever i post something personal my stomach is in knots. i can't sleep. i am embarassed and worry that the post is lame or of no interested or just plain stupid. it is hard to put yourself out there, but sometimes the results are so worth it!

  9. Kim, we all love your honesty. Keep it coming and NEVER feel ashamed or wonder if you've revealed too much. We're not here to judge - just support! :)

  10. I enjoy the honesty as well, and it's a major release for me, personally, to be able to write so honestly, so candidly, and have no judgements.

    So you can expect the same from us, always. I stopped nursing my son at 9 months because my supply took a huge hit, and he was no longer getting anything from me. I actually had supply problems from about 3 months on (tried everything, herbs, electric pump, diet, etc.!)

  11. I tend to feel the same way . .sometimes on Sunday nights I get a full blown "shame attack" and want to delete my entire blog ...lol ...but I don't.


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