Thursday, 21 January 2010


Complaining about how tired I am these days doesn't have the same impact,even on me. It's nearly impossible to feel sorry for myself at the end of a workday because I have to make Deaglan dinner and then still do the bedtime routine. I 'm not even all that tempted to whine to somebody about how many times an hour I have to drag myself into the bathroom because the uterus has already started to put pressure on my bladder.

I've tried to stay conscious and remember what's going on in the world. I've been reminding myself regularly throughout the day that people are suffering, really, really suffering.

Why is it so easy for us to forget? Sometimes I wonder what it would really take for a person to change. You would think that having lived in one of the poorest countries in the world for the first seven years of a life, really knowing hunger, and having felt the shame of begging on the streets, that I wouldn't get too comfortable in this life - so easy and so abundant. But I do get comfortable and forget often.

I donated I reason with myself. What else can I do? That's the question that stumps me.

Since I gave birth to Deaglan I've wondered what I could offer his soul. I know that we take very good care of him. And culturally I can't give him much as far as my birth place. I was raised in a caucasian Canadian family. Lately the answer has been floating through me. I need to give him awareness. Consciousness. This place we live - this isn't the whole world. There is a great lack in a large part of the world. Maybe if I teach him to be aware, maybe something will change.

My thoughts and prayers are with you Haiti. I'm sorry this is happening to you. I'm sorry you are suffering so much.


  1. I do believe that makes a difference. You talk to your kids, you discuss the news with them, you travel with them when you can - let them know they are part of a global community, that we are all brothers and sisters. It matters.

  2. Isn't it weird? We get entrenched in our own lives so deeply, we forget that others have incomprehensibly bleak lives, even in the same town or city we may live in. We have been going through a series of storms, and I just watched a report earlier today, a tree fell on a house and destroyed the house, I guess nobody was home, but still. Imagine, something so random can just HAPPEN at any given time, to anyone, anywhere. This is hard to fathom. Many think to themselves,
    "but that happened to someone else, that didn't effect me"...what an awful, selfish way to feel. I believe you will do a good job of raising your son to consider others, to be compassionate.

  3. Amen. When I was growing up as a little child, we did not have an abundance. I knew my Momma had to work really hard to provide for us. My Nanny would help her out a lot! Noah does not know this sort of struggle and sometimes I feel as if he is missing out on something. My fear is that he may grow up and appreciate very little for having not known true lack. I pray that we as mothers (you and I) have the wisdom to teach our boys what it means to give to others because we (and our families) are truly blessed. peace my friend

  4. It's hard to really teach such small children to be aware of other cultures. Right now we're just focusing on getting our little one to have good manners and be kind to others. I think once that is mastered the rest will fall into place.

    I love your deep contemplations.

  5. i think you are a wonderful person and are very aware. that is the first step...people are soo unaware...and very selfish. you are a great mom and person! and btw, thank you for the shout out! lol. i enjoyed that last post as i am going through the same thing!

  6. You're an amazing mama and woman. Deaglan and little one are very lucky to have your thoughtful, caring example in their lives.


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