Sunday, 22 September 2013

Kind caring men who can bake pies

Friday after school I asked Deaglan how he did when it was his turn to tell the class how his parents had chosen his name.

We’d practiced the story the night before, how originally he was going to be named Patrick after Daddy (Shaune’s first name is Patrick) and Great Grampa but then Daddy decided that he needed his own name and after disappearing into the basement for 20 minutes to consult with Google, came back with the name Deaglan – pronounced like the more common version Declan but spelled the Celtic way. After I pared the story down a few times, we settled on this version: Daddy found my name on the computer. Mommy loved it. My middle name is William after my Grampa.

“I didn’t get a turn to talk about my name but I told everybody that my Mom is from Bangladesh.”

I’m always surprised when he mentions something about my childhood to other people. I don’t talk about it all that much and when I do I’m careful not to overwhelm the kids with too many stories. It’s a fight in me that I will never resolve. On the one hand I am desperate to teach them that they were born into this abundant life not because they are more deserving than the millions of kids who were born into severe poverty, but by chance. And yet I am acutely aware that belaboring my point for any length of time could have the opposite effect so I choose carefully when to bring it up.

More than anything, I want to raise kind caring men who are aware of the inequality that is so common in our world. I also want them to be happy. I want them to find good partners and good jobs and be surrounded by good loving friends. I want them to care about the world and contribute to making it better.

I also want them to live on the same street as Shaune and me for all of their live long days and provide me with a handful of grandkids.

But that’s a whole other post.

Deaglan told me that he couldn’t remember why he told everybody where I was from but everybody had lots of questions that he couldn’t answer. I made an excited mental note to show him again where Bangladesh is on the globe. But because the moment had presented itself, I took out the letter we’d recently received from one of the girls we sponsor.

Keerthana is the same age as Deaglan so we had a  wonderful discussion about the differences of being in grade one in Canada and Sri Lanka.

Today Shaune took the kids to the apple orchard  and taught them how to bake a pie.


  1. Wonderful example of teaching by doing!
    they are kind, smart, beautiful boys.

  2. I cherish the sensitive side of my boys, too.

  3. Beautiful...
    This post reminds me of a poster we framed and have hanging in our home that honors all aspects of boys.


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