You were born on a Monday

Dear Naveen,

you are six months old today, doing all the things a six month old should, you're chubby, you smell better than good and on a daily basis I want to eat you right up.

When your brother was born, I didn't think I could possibly ever feel that way about another human. My heart seemed to swell to a hundred times its own size. But you are the proof that my capacity for love is endless.

I never tire of looking at your beautiful little face or planting kisses on your cocoa skin. You and your brother are constant reminders that I am possibly the luckiest woman alive. I honestly don't know what I ever did to deserve you but I'm trying not to take it for granted.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

Here's a video of the day you were born. You'll notice that I seem to be a little short with Daddy. I had just had you and I probably needed a bit of rest.

Love Mommy.

P.S. Daddy might say that I was just acting like my normal self here, but don't believe him. It wasn't a normal day the day you were born. You came when I needed you the most.

I'm participating in Stumble Tumble Tuesdays. Check out the other posts and join in!



Bug Season

I wrote this post last year. I wish I could say that the holiday spirit has already caught me this year but it wouldn't be true. But here's what has. I've had to run into the mall a few times this week and I remembered that there's something in the air this time of year that bothers me. I don't think I would be so troubled by it if it didn't have the power to infect me. See, while I was hoping to run in and get the few items I needed, the mall was teeming with shoppers. People were buying up Christmas gifts with determination and it made me panic.

I never shop this early. I usually take one or two days in the middle of December and get everyone on my list checked off. But this thing in the air at malls and Walmarts across the land during this season is like a bug. It gets you even though you have practiced healthy thoughts. Even though you wash yourself with truths like Christmas is not about buying a bunch of meaningless gifts for people who don't need them. Even though you've inoculated yourself with promises that as soon as it makes sense you will teach your children about the real giving, helping the people who really need it.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not above it all. I do buy meaningless gifts for people who don't need them. I excitedly talk about Santa on a daily basis with Deaglan. I bought a new Christmas rug for the front doorway just yesterday and I'm coveting a Kindle if anyone cares.

But I do it with a sense of guilt. Like this is wrong. Some deeper sense in me knows that it should be much, much more about altruism, gratefulness and extension and way, way less about retail, Santa and stocking stuffers.

So again, this year, I'm struggling with the season. On the one hand I have a duty to get giddy and enthusiastic for my kids' sakes but on the other, I could take Christmas or leave it.

I have a bit of the spirit though and have joined the gals over here for Merry SITmas

Poop, pee and other food groups

                                                                      

 Lately we can't have a conversation with Deaglan without him bringing something toilet-esque into it. You know what I mean parents of toddlers?

On Saturdays we always have pizza for dinner from our favourite place Soprano's. (They make the best pizza for a great price and anyone I've ever dealt with from the restaurant has been nothing but lovely!) Anyway, tonight when I served Deaglan a slice this is how it went down:

Deaglan: Mommy I don't want pizza.

Me: Aren't you hungry?

Deaglan: Yes, I'm hungry.

Me: Well then, eat. That's what we're having for dinner.

Deaglan: I don't want pizza.

Me sighing: Okay then what do you want?

Deaglan: Poop.

Me biting the inside of my cheek: You're not having poop. It's   pizza or nothing.

Deaglan lots of laughter from him: Okay then how about Pee?

Now he's almost falling over laughing.

Me: Oh boy. Let me know when you're hungry then.

And while I'm on the subject of body fluids, Naveen had some sort of eye thing - likely Deaglan brought home pink eye from daycare. I remembered my midwife singing the praises of breast milk and how it can cure just about anything. And truth be told, I was too tired to call around to try and get a doctor's appointment. So I squeezed breast milk in the baby's eye a few times a day for three days and that bad boy cleared right up!

Friday night

I just finished bathing, reading to and tucking in two small boys. While I was nursing Naveen, I was trying to remember what I used to do on Friday nights before the kids. Flashes of recall came to me. In my twenties, Friday nights were filled with the appeal of anything can happen. There was usually the panic of figuring out what to wear, where to go, and what to drink. In my early thirties, it became more about nice dinners out, affordable but good wine and figuring out what to wear.

Now here I am on the cusp of my forties, and it entails, figuring out what the toddler will eat for dinner, how I can tweak the bedtime routine to encourage the infant to sleep longer than two hours and the countdown to me-time on the couch with maybe a glass of wine and a turn on the laptop. And what I wear? Well that's the easy part.

It's not exciting in the same way but it's so good in a different way. There's something solid and satisfying in getting kids bathed and settled in. It feels right to provide the comfort of a routine, to indulge them when they ask for one more story. And that glass of wine?

It feels earned.

What are you doing on this Friday night?

This post is also inspired by The Red Dress Club who asked us to write a little something about feeling grateful.

Acknowledging what I'm doing

I've been thinking a lot about my blog lately. I'm sure you could have guessed just by looking around this place. I've added some pages up top about me and my family, I've changed the colour scheme around a bit, learned how to play around on Picasa to make a banner (if you want to know how, let me know) and I'm even trying to increase traffic.

It's not that I want to make money or talk you into believing something. I just really like writing and I want to share that with you. I feel like I have something to say. You know?

I've tried to write from my heart, to be honest, to balance the happy with the sad. And the more I write here, the more I feel that it's the right thing to do. That probably sounds weird I know.

I go between wanting to share enormous amounts of my life, my life as a mother, my life as a brown woman, my life as a wife, a sort of older mom, an aspiring writer, to feeling embarrassed after I hit the publish button. In those moments of self-doubt I wonder what's wrong with me that I want to tell the internet about what's going on in my life, in my head.

But then I remember that this is a new day. Facebook has made it possible for me to reconnect with friends I had in grade seven in Tucson Arizona. One day recently my friend Frank just "found" me through Google. After 25 years!
Because of Facebook I can find out what a lot of high school friends are doing at any given hour of the day.

The truth is, I love this blog and even though I'm not an expert or even a known writer, I want to keep trying. I want you to read my posts and tell me what you think. I want to know if you are experiencing the same thing.

I want the dialogue.

Most of the people on my blog list are people who follow my blog too. But I have a few listed that I love and even though I know they will probably never follow me, I want to promote them anyway. I read this post from Her Bad Mother recently and it made me wish I had written it. It was one of those times when I wanted to call the author and say - that's exactly what I feel, it's exactly what I needed to read. If you have time, check it out.

Thanks!

Tuesday's Child

Today I'm launching a weekly meme here at The Child. I'd like to feature a reader each Tuesday, post their pictures and do a short interview with them. It can be any reader, a blogger, or a Facebook friend - you don't need to have any of these. I'll promote a cause or charity or just you. Leave me your comments if you want to participate and we'll get started next Tuesday.

If you don't want to leave your email address in the comments, email me at kimmcnamara71@hotmail.com. I think this will be a great way to increase traffic to your blog or facebook page.

Miscellany Monday

1. Happy Anniversary to my blog! Three years ago this week I created The Child. Over that time it's evolved from being a picture blog whose intent was to keep family and friends updated on the new baby (Deaglan) to a place I come to share my stories about motherhood, me and my family. I've never had a hobby I enjoyed so much!

2. I'm participating in NaNoWriMo (National novel writing month)I like to write but I didn't know if I'd have the discipline or desire to stick to writing every day. Plus it's been busy around here! But so far I've been keeping up and have written about 90 pages (of utter crap). This is the final week and once it's done I can begin the editing process.

3. Kelly tagged me in a meme to answer some questions about myself. Here are my answers:

• My favourite toy from childhood was Cindy - a cheaper version of Barbie. Because she was shorter and chubbier than Barbie (who my sister had), my sister felt it made more sense if Cindy played Barbie's maid. Older Sisters!


• Did you ever have one of those embarrassing candid camera moments in public? - How much time do you have? When Deaglan was about five weeks old, I had decided to go out for a walk with him in the Snugli. I quickly threw my hair in a ponytail, applied some of the topical gel for my rosacia to my cheeks and went out the door. It was really cold outside. When I passed by people not one person commented on the adorable creature I had fastened to my chest. Instead they gave me wary looks. When I got home and happened to glance in the mirror, I saw that the gel had mixed with the cold outside to give me the look of white tribal marks on each cheek.


• Do you like dancing those silly dances (chicken dance etc) at weddings? - I would say up until now NO but I never thought I'd be rocking out to Raffi in my minivan either! It's funny how parenthood sneaks up on you.


• What is your favourite food to cook? - My husband reads this blog so I can't lie. I'm not much of a cook but I do make a mean spaghetti sauce.

This post was brought to you by Miscellany Monday over at Lowercase Letters

Naveen had a playdate last week. From left to right are Maya, Trent and Nadia (twins) and Naveen.