Wednesday 1 July 2009

Canadian



There is a scar in my right armpit that I am pretty self conscious about. While we were still in Bangladesh I was walking with my sister and a friend and fell into an open sewer.

If you've seen the movie Slumdog Millionaire think back to the scene where the main character as a boy is in the outhouse and learns of the famous actor visiting their town. He comes out and is covered in human feces that has had time to soften into a mud-like consistency and then emulsify. Then take it one step further and imagine being stuck in it, trying to stay afloat because I had fallen through a two foot wide opening in the ground and landed six feet below in a virtual river of shit.

Not a memory I treasure but something I've thought about often in recent years. You see it took me a long time to really think about the differences between that life and this one. The disparity between living in a third world country and living in one of the wealthiest most peaceful countries in the world.

Until relatively recently I took my story for granted. I mean I always knew it was pretty amazing but it wasn't until I really consciously weighed the variations did it hit me how different my life could be if I still lived in Bangladesh.

I read a book this past year called Shame by Taslima Nasrin a Bangladeshi author only nine years older than me who has been forced to live in exile because of the views she expressed against her own religion in her writing. Because of these views she faced serious death threats from Islamic fundamentalists and was forced to leave her homeland. Sadly her father died and she couldn't even return to the country to attend his funeral. Can you even imagine???

I don't mention my adoptive parents very often. There was some difficulty over the years which for me has been amended. But I have realized the miracle they enabled when they chose to adopt my sister and me.

They already had two boys of their own, were pregnant with a third and had adopted a little girl from Bangladesh in 1977 when they saw a picture of Tara and me during an adoption support meeting. They told us that immediately they felt we were meant to be their girls. By June of 1978 we had become their girls. Free to grow up and have opinions. Free to dream about a future that was wide open. Free to speak our minds. Free to marry who we wanted. Free to raise our children to be free. Free.

I don't want to wax patriotic. I don't often embrace Canadianna. But today on Canada Day at home with my son and husband where we are peacefully free to do whatever we want, say and believe whatever we want and be whoever we want, I have to admit that it is good to be Canadian!

16 comments:

  1. Kim, I feel privileged to get to know you this way. You are a remarkable woman who lived through such difficult circumstances as a child. You are such a strong, insightful, caring, humane person. Considering what you witnessed and experienced in those trying days, freedom is truly a very precious treasure for you and your family. Honest, moving post. I hope you, Shaune and Deaglan all enjoyed Canada Day! I would love to visit your beautiful country someday!

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  2. I love these posts of yours - your story reminds me to be truly grateful for everything I am blessed with - you have such a unique perspective on life because of your experiences. Thanks for sharing and happy Canada Day!

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  3. you write so beautifully, and this post brought me to tears. i am so glad you had a chance at a better life, and that you have made the most of it, and that you cherish it. i wish all could have that, too.

    sometimes i get all woebegotten on how tough life is. gimme a break, self! life is a cake walk for me compared to what millions of others face every day.

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  4. I am so glad you were adopted into a family that could offer you a life of freedom. You've already touched so many lives by sharing your story.

    I cannot even imagine what it was like for you. I come from humble beginnings but I never fell in a sewer! It certainly puts life in perspective. Glad you enjoyed Canada day - you live in a truly fantastic nation. I feel the same about the US and especially my state of Idaho.

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  5. What an amazing story. A great reminder to be grateful for how truly lucky we are.

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  6. Kim, I think gratefulness is an important tool to carry in one's satchel and you do it well. Funny where we are in life one day and then how drastically things can change. Glad your changes were good. ~rick

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  7. It is a sobering thought isn't it? You were lucky in so many ways as you said, Kim. Blessings to you and yours, on Canada Day, and always.xx♥

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  8. I love the honesty that always flows so freely from your heart into your writing. It's beautiful and I'm so glad you've shared a bit of yourself with us.

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  9. Wow, you have gone through so much. Your story really is amazing. We truly are so lucky to live in a place that is free. Your words just tear at my heart. Thank you for sharing.

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  10. Happy Canada Day. And wow - I didn't watch the whole movie, but I did see that scene and I can't believe you lived through what you did. You have lived one incredible life! I hope you have a great weekend and I'm going to go look up that book now.

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  11. Wow, what a story. My mother was Canadian, my sister still lives up there. It is a wonderful country, more Americans should be aware of that much. I left Canada when I was 18 and came down to California to be with my dad, I sometimes wonder what a different life I would have had, if I had chosen to stay up there. It would have been different, but not as different as your life change, going from the third world to Canada. What an extraordinary act, to adopt children the way your adoptive parents did. Amazing.

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  12. i have been thinking about you and your story and i really think you need to write a book!!! i am serious! you will sell millions of books. your story is amazing.

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  13. What a beautiful post and a beautiful story! I sometimes think how lucky my siblings and I were that my parents emigrated here to the US before doing such a thing became far more difficult. I can't even imagine what it would be like had we grown up in the Philipines.

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  14. I think every one of us contemplates how our lives might be different had we turned left in stead of right... chosen this school instead of that one... paper or plastic....

    Very few people will ever have the opportunity to contemplate the "what ifs" with such markedly different scenarios playing out. It is heartbreaking to think of you as a little girl, and the things you had to go through.

    I would like to think that you've been given an extraordinary ability to appreciate life and the little things because of what you had to endure. I think your life will be richer for it. Hearing your stories and the observations that you make certainly have made my life a little richer.
    Thank you.

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  15. agree with Wendy actually! I'm so happy for you now...Touch wood:) What was the 'stranger' thing abt?:)

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  16. What a beautiful post. Firstly, amazing description of your past fall--I could not even imagine. Secondly, how wonderful that your family was touched and reached out to embrace you as their two new daughters. I am happy you found the realization of how blessed you are. We should all take a moment and count those blessings. :)

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