Wednesday, 23 February 2011


Remember that part in Meet the Fockers where Robert DeNiro says they've been using the Ferber method to teach Baby Jack to self-soothe and then Dustin Hoffman says We used the Focker method. We hugged and kissed that little prince like there was no tomorrow. We Fockerized him...? I loved that and have been thinking about it alot lately.

I was thinking how when you're a new parent you get really caught up in the right way to raise that baby. At least I did anyway. I was all according this book, I should wait until X number of months before I start feeding him solids. And then when things didn't go according to what was documented, I was like okay, what's wrong with my baby? What did I do wrong? 

But then when you have a second baby, those books get dusty and you rely on a combination of what worked last time and what you have the energy and resources to do.

Well I'm sort of feeling that new mother anxiety again but with my three year old. I know that he needs to stop using his soother and start pooping on the damned toilet before I head back to work in three months but a big part of me wants to let him be, let him enjoy this last bit of time at home without forcing him to let go of the last remnants of babyhood all at once.

I encourage him to go at his own pace. There's a lot he probably should do on his own but when he resists, I don't fight him. For instance, he only recently started showing interest in dressing himself. Before he took the initiative, I never pushed him much.
Maybe he's not the only person resisting. It could be me too. I'm in no hurry to see him become independent from me. He has the rest of his life to do stuff for himself.
Can you tell I'm ready for Spring to show it's face over in my neck of the woods? I couldn't bring myself to throw those branches away so I took out my gluegun and hung some sea shells from them. They were just sitting around doing nothing anyway.

I'm joining Shell over at Things I Can't Say.


  1. Some days I'm not ready for my daughter to continue growing independent (she's 15) but some days I feel like it can't get here soon enough. Boy the attitude is driving me insane.
    I can't wait for spring to show up....I need color in this world again.

  2. I don't see a reason to rush them, either. Let them be little for as long as possible. They'll get everything eventually- potty training, dressing themselves, etc.

  3. I think you know how I feel about this :D

    Great post!

  4. Next month my daughter is going to be six. My husband wonders when she'll wash her own hair. I just treasure that there's anything I still get to do for her. Let them be little!

  5. Awesome post! Yes, there will be a day when he will shut his door and lock it. He'll be a man and you can either push him into independance faster or just enjoy this time now.

    I feel the same way, have the same torn feelings. My 3.5 year old has a bed in our bedroom. She doesn't sleep with us, but in our bedroom. It is a step in the right direction. I know other families that co-sleep until this age or even longer.

    Just enjoy the time they are little!

  6. Kim, before you know it he will be a teenager and not wanting you around as much. I like you savored all the "i need you" time I could get. Asia Rose is 11 and my heart yearns for those days all over again.

  7. This also seems to be an overwhelming feeling with a lot of the mom bloggers I'm friends with, wanting to hold on to their little babies. Since I don't have children yet (been trying for a very long time) I can't even imagine what that feels like. I'd be so sad!

    On a lighter note, I love the seashells on yourbranches. I think they look great. I'm happy to be your newest follower!

  8. It will all happen before you know it. It's tough to see the zoomed out picture when you're in it but he'll be going #2 in the toilet and tossing the paci in no time.

  9. Kim, I love what you are doing with the black and white in your photography, just beautiful...
    As for parenting, do what feels right to you. If you don't, you'll have regrets. I love the care and attention you put into rearing your boys. That's the way it should be...
    For Noah's pacifier transition, I got rid of all but one. Then, I snipped a tiny, tiny, tiny piece of it away everyday. He didn't notice because it was so gradual. After two weeks of the snipping, I gave it to him at bed time, he put it in his mouth, took it back out, and threw it at me. LOL!!! I asked, "You're all done?" He said, "Yes". And, that was it, no more paci. He still loves his "B" blankie to this day. But, Hey they need something to sooth them when Mommy and Daddy can't be there.
    Oh, and the undies shot is PRICELESS!!

  10. I know I've mentioned it before, but my daughter turned 15 in December. I have mini panic attacks now-about what my life will be like when she isn't around every day.
    I remember phases she went through, and people telling me-"don't worry-she'll out grow that in a few months", or "wait a couple years and it will get better".
    My advice: Don't wish time away-sooner or later kids figure things out, or grow out of phases, or whatever. It's ok to let them be little and not try to rush them out of one stage and into the next. These are all moments that you will look back on some day and treasure. Trust me:)

  11. I stopped reading books when M turned 10 months old, they were driving me batty. Children don't follow linear timelines. If anything they develop cyclically. Sometimes they are on the curve, behind the curve, ahead of the curve. Someone wise told me that and I'm so glad I listened and didn't try to "-ize" my baby into meeting some arbitrary expectation.
    That's my long-winded way of saying you are right to go with your mothering instincts.

  12. That last photo is utterly gorgeous. Ah, don't worry, you don't find too many teenager's still pooping in their pants, now do you? It'll happen, and the nursery will help his training along, too - promise! As for the soother issue, my youngest was so addicted to those, she fell asleep clutching one in either hand as well as sucking on the one in her mouth! We held a soother goodbye burial party - made a huge fuss over THE DAY (planned a few days ahead to let her get used to the idea), she was told the soother fairy was coming to collect them so she could leave a bag of(insert whatever your baby loves the most, with her it was lots and lots of chocolate) goodies in return. It was all part of her being such a BIG GIRL now.. then we gathered every last one up, and dug a hole in the back garden, where she placed the bag (kind of like a funeral in a way). Sure, she missed them for a night or two, but it worked in the end. Good luck, hon!

  13. One of the best things about having a second child is that you can start to let go of expectations. He'll get there.

  14. It all works out. I find that childhood development seems to take care of itself, even though I catch myself still worrying. I'm trying not to worry that Jillian hardly eats anything different. It's tough, but I have faith that she'll be fine. I want to enjoy her time with me as a little one now.


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