Saturday, 26 November 2011

Answers to your questions

Sometimes after reading one of my posts, you ask me a question in the comments section; too often I don’t get back to you.

My time on the computer is limited especially when old Slappy-hands-Naveen is around. I open the laptop and suddenly he’s there, beside me, slapping at the keys. Because we have Vista, he sometimes punches a key that changes everything – I go from writing words to typing in squiggles and slashes. And I have no idea how to get back to normal without shutting down. By then, there is usually something else needing my immediate attention like a cat in need of rescue from a menacing toddler or a clean-up in aisle two because a certain three year old figured he’d polish the kitchen floor with his left-over milk. I know you’ve all been there.

So here are some answers to the questions I didn’t get to:

In my post about Deaglan’s first days of school where a teacher told him he was silly because he had a doll in his backpack, a few of you asked what happened after I sent the note. I never quite got to the bottom of it but I did discuss it face-to-face with one of his teachers. She was truly surprised that someone had said it, told me that he could have whatever he desired in his backpack. And a few weeks ago, Deaglan announced to my relief, that he loved his new school.

And as a follow-up to the last post where I wrote about my first parent-teacher interview, yesterday we got a beautiful hand-written note from the teacher proclaiming that already since we’d spoken Deaglan has shown tremendous improvement in his hand-raising skills. You know what made the difference? I told him a few mornings this week that if he knew the answer to a question the teacher was asking, he should raise his hand. I don’t think anyone had ever really explained that process to him.

When I wrote about the church a few of you asked me if I’d considered seeking out a new church. Such a good question. Truth is, I realized that for now, spirituality, community and charity didn’t have to add up to church membership. I’m not committed to this though – I’m leaving room for mind-changing. This past week we went to two funerals and it was lovely to see that both of my relatives were closely connected to their church families. It was evident each time when the ministers officiating had moving and personal stories to share about the person.

I did however, get an email back from the minister of the church I wrote about. And she apologized for not responding to my request to have Naveen baptized, she said she was sorry to have hurt me. However she emphasized that membership in her church did require attendance. She signed off by thanking me ahead of time for any monetary donations I might be able to give to the church! Again it confirmed for me that leaving that church was the right thing.

And, when I wrote this post, I was feeling a little put-off by the season ahead. But you know what? It’s sort of growing on me. Shaune and I made a decision to buy only a few gifts for the kids and make Christmas about what we do together. Each Sunday so far, we’ve done a little project. Here are the pictures of our Christmas village and gingerbread house. This Sunday we’ll put up the tree and decorate the rest of the house. 

Finally, have I told you how much I appreciate you coming back and reading what I write? That your comments and connections are wonderful little gifts? My therapist asked me a few weeks ago why I write. I told her simply this:

It makes me happy.

 Sorry about the close-up of my bra strap.

 Where's Naveen you may be wondering. He's napping - we were strategic in planning out our activities. Most of this stuff would have been on the floor if he'd been involved. Sad but so true.
 This is the most intact the village has looked since we put it together. Deaglan finds it magical and insists on constantly changing it up, taking some of the pieces to bed with him at night. Shaune and I have been practicing our deep breathing and the art of letting go of the dream of having things "just so".
Stay tuned next week for pictures of my lame attempts at almost hand-made decorations as well as shots of the tree.


  1. Sounds like a lot has been resolved! Yay!

    LOL, I never would've noticed the bra strap had you not pointed it out!

    Your gingerbread town is rockin'!

  2. I am glad doing something like writing simply makes you happy. I also really appreciate your honest style of writing.

    I also very much like who you are planning for Christmas - it is what we hope to do, too.

  3. "old Slappy-hands-Naveen" made me laugh out loud.

  4. I'm so happy Deaglan loves his school! That makes everything so much easier.
    You look very happy and at peace in that picture. I think we may have to make a gingerbread house this year too...when the little one is napping ;)

  5. I'm glad that things are resolving themselves. They always have a way of doing that. Things that seem like huge worries one day are not even remembered a few days later. Try not to worry so much. (this is my mantra that I repeat to myself almost daily). You are an amazing woman and mother. You are raising amazing human beings. Don't be so hard on yourself. You look amazing (bra strap and all!!!).

    p.s. - your writing makes me happy too :)

  6. it is surprising to me how your stories bring back such memories for me. I goes years and years without thinking about my adult children when they were babies, then something is trigered....
    one year we were really short on money (happened quite a lot actually) but Marty was about 8 and Patty 7 - we were going to take the kids to Arizona for christmas and just the trip took much of our Christmas funds. I made a list of those that would be around on Christmas day and told each of them that they had $20 to spend getting something for everyone. they put so much thought into what they could do, for example Patty made a macrime (spelling?) hanger for my mother's porch and Marty found a book at the bookstore's markdown table about ghost towns of the west. The thinking of something just right for each person made Christmas really special for both of the kids - I think it changed for them the idea of Christmas - no longer just a commercial process, but a giving one.

  7. Love the updates!

    I am so not surprised at you EASILY solving the "problem" by explaining to him how to answer. SIGH. I am learning these same tactics this year.

    I really love the houses and the pictures on the previous post, too! I am working also (HARD) on being okay with things being "not so". I don't want to destroy Brodie's joy with my need to have a perfectly decorated house.

    We have also limited Christmas, too. I told the boys to pic 5 things they really like to put on their list - and not giant crazy things, you know, but "normal" toys. I have been ebay and bargain shopping for some of them. I have more work to do, but this is a start. :)

  8. and I forgot to say that your writing makes me happy, too. Tell your therapist that. ;)

  9. I love that you circled back to previous posts to provide updates because I love reading about what's happening with you guys!

  10. I like this "catching up over coffee" kind of post.

    That village is adorable. I bet Ol' Slappy Hands likes to stare at it.

    I also love the art you have on the wall behind the kitchen table!

  11. Your blog makes me happy Kim:) I can't wait to see your tree!

  12. That email would have left me with a bitter taste in my mouth too. Sounds like you definitely did the right thing! I like all your little holiday projects. :)

  13. Ugh she should have left that last part out of her email- silly lady. And love e gingerbread house! So cute! Glad ou are enjoying the season so far

  14. It is such a joy when your kid loves his school. So glad Deaglan loves his.
    I love that gingerbread house! I'm inspired to have my kids make one too! And such a pretty village! :)

  15. I think your idea of what you "do" is super awesome and a great gift to teach your children. Kids today are "materialized" and have no idea the true meaning of anything any more so I think it's a great thing you're doing with your kids.

    Regarding the hand raising, just goes to show you that sometimes as "adults" we take the little things for granted and label a kid as "inferior" but in reality they just didn't "know". A great lesson for everyone. Thanks for letting us into your world. It's an awesome world to visit.

  16. I always enjoy my visits here. Your honest heartfelt posts always touch me.

  17. I'm sure your handmade decorations are going to be wonderful. I can imagine the Frankenstein looking ornaments I would make. lol

    Love how you and Shaune are approaching the holiday season with thoughtfulness and love. The village came out terrific.

    I had a similar thing happen with a teacher asking for one of my boys to participate more. He also seemed to not hear enough about raising your hand to get noticed. Glad that everything is working out.

    Love the post. Hope to talk with you before Christmas. Love, Kel

  18. I love coming back to read your blog, it makes me happy too! I'm terrible at commenting on time, but I always try to make it back to tell you how great your writing and your posts are!

  19. I think it is wonderful that you all are focusing on time spent together as family during this season. I just had the best Thanksgiving ever because I spent it with my siblings. Bless you and thanks for giving us a follow-up post! :)

  20. I'm so glad that a whole lot has been resolved...this catch-up post is a great idea.

    I usually get Maya one or two things for Christmas and try to give her my time and patience instead of material things. I know that's what she really wants anyway!

    Gorgeous pictures! Love the gingerbread's just amazing!


Thanks for your comment!