Sunday, 29 January 2012

And speaking of a short 40ish, slightly chubby Bengali woman giving fashion advice

This morning on facebook, my sweet friend Kelly posted something that struck me:

"I'm reading Isabel Allende's The Sum of Our Days. She shares how author Anne Lamott told her that "writer's block" is nonsense, and what happens is that sometimes the well has gone dry and has to be refilled. Where do you go to refill the well?"

It resonated with me because lately my well has been dry. Oh it's not that the kids aren't doing documentary-worth things, or that my life is going splendidly perfect so that I have nothing relatable to share with you.

It's me.

I feel quiet inside, and a little uninspired. And also I've been busy settling into some new routines which I'll talk about later after I've had a chance to process the changes. And then there's this: Every once in a while it hits me that I'm just putting myself out there and suddenly I feel shy. And stupid. I imagine people from high school talking about me. Shaking their heads adding this to the ever growing list of reasons I wasn't popular. And then I realize how stupid that is and shake it off.

At times like this I feel torn too. I think about all the really important personal stuff I rarely write about here, out of fear; out of a need to keep some boundaries. Some of which I think is highly human, common to all of us. Sometimes I read someone else's blog and feel like a fraud. I wish I'd written their beautiful words, come up with their brilliant posts. Then I let my small self curl up in a blanket of envy and write nothing for a few days until I end up on the other side of the dry spell.

I do something I wouldn't have dreamed of in my twenties or thirties. I step completely out of my comfort zone and ask my husband to take a photoshoot of me in some of my work clothes because after I wrote this post, my friend Shannon told me I should post pictures of some of my outfits. Knowing full well that I will cringe at the images because my stomach is flabby and I sometimes feel like the equivalent of the brown Dolly Parton.

Clearly at these times, I also ramble.

Top: Winner's this past summer, Cardi: Suzy Shier three years ago, Faux leather skirt and necklace: thrifted, Shoes: Marissa
I'm not sure what this look on my face is about. Possibly I was cold by this point. Or my feet hurt. If it comes to me I'll let you know.

Blouse and vest: thrifted, Pants: Smart Set, Shoes: Marissa. Child's shoe: Mexx

Sweater: Urban behaviour over five years ago, white sleeveless button down: Suzy Shier ages ago, Skirt: thrifted, Shoes: Le Chateau several years ago


  1. Don't you hate that we still go back to those stupid insecurities of ours? You, my sweet friend, are gorgeous inside and out.

    And you freakin' know how to dress!

  2. You had me fooled...I always thought you were one of the cool popular kids in high school! You're amazing and you don't give yourself enough credit. I can't speak for all of our graduating class, but I certainly look forward to each and every one of your blogs, posts, stories, etc. Keep them coming! p.s. - your outfits are awesome. You look gorgeous!

  3. I think you look awesome! Your outfits are very put together and have a classic look.
    Glad you've posted! I missed you :)

  4. You are stunning. I am so glad you had these photos taken. The boys will appreciate them when they are older.

    I know also you're probably thinking about your brother, too. Sometimes things like that can also contribute to a lack of words. Or at least a lack of articulate words.

  5. I could never put together outfits that well! Or wear heels ;-) You look gorgeous!

  6. You do not look flabby you look stunning! I love that top that you are wearing at the beginning, gorgeous.

  7. Kim, I think you look smashing! You are a beautiful woman and your outfits are gorgeous!

    But I know what you mean. I am a tough self critic, and I always imagine people shaking their heads at me with a big "What was she thinking..." But putting yourself out there is what makes readers love you, relate to you, and be inspired by you too. I know you do that for me, my friend:)

  8. You look too cute and stylish and sexy Mama!

    It sometimes feels like we make so many steps forward, letting go of shame and insecurities. And then, BAM, It feels like we're right back where we started. I'm comforted in knowing that I bounce back faster now. I notice the "crazy voice" in my head quicker now. ;)

    Wishing you inspiration and peace with your new transitions. :)

  9. Kim, you look F-I-E-R-C-E! I hope you have refilled your well. I don't think you are empty, just a little "constipated" (sorry for poor choice of words). You just need to get the flow moving again. You have so much to offer in words.

  10. i wanted to see more pics! at the end i thought.....that is all...i need to see more of you!!! you are beautiful!!!

  11. Love your outfits! You are beautiful! And yes. Just tell those voices and worries to shut up because they are wrong.

  12. You look great Kim. I've been feeling the same way too and have no inspiration to blog lately. Like you, I've felt the changes that the new year has brought made me feel a little lost and I need that extra time to readjust.

  13. You are gorgeous, sweet, and wonderful!! And boy girl - can you strike a pose :) Love this post.

  14. Oh one more thing. I love that last outfit especially. Cute shoes too!

  15. Oh one more thing. I love that last outfit especially. Cute shoes too!

  16. I think you and I are built the same....and you look great - so does that mean I really look great, too, instead of horrible...which is what I feel like I look like...see I ramble, too!
    Cheers for bravery, friend! You seriously look fab! :)

  17. Are you kidding? You look great! Very stylish work outfits - I'm impressed.

  18. I din't read the other comments - sometime I do after I post mine... I want to say what I want to say...
    YOU are a beautiful woman. that is it. wish you were here so I could take photos of you... love the face. which in the second shot tells me you were telling hubby HOW to take the photos....


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