And speaking of a short 40ish, slightly chubby Bengali woman giving fashion advice

This morning on facebook, my sweet friend Kelly posted something that struck me:

"I'm reading Isabel Allende's The Sum of Our Days. She shares how author Anne Lamott told her that "writer's block" is nonsense, and what happens is that sometimes the well has gone dry and has to be refilled. Where do you go to refill the well?"

It resonated with me because lately my well has been dry. Oh it's not that the kids aren't doing documentary-worth things, or that my life is going splendidly perfect so that I have nothing relatable to share with you.

It's me.

I feel quiet inside, and a little uninspired. And also I've been busy settling into some new routines which I'll talk about later after I've had a chance to process the changes. And then there's this: Every once in a while it hits me that I'm just putting myself out there and suddenly I feel shy. And stupid. I imagine people from high school talking about me. Shaking their heads adding this to the ever growing list of reasons I wasn't popular. And then I realize how stupid that is and shake it off.

At times like this I feel torn too. I think about all the really important personal stuff I rarely write about here, out of fear; out of a need to keep some boundaries. Some of which I think is highly human, common to all of us. Sometimes I read someone else's blog and feel like a fraud. I wish I'd written their beautiful words, come up with their brilliant posts. Then I let my small self curl up in a blanket of envy and write nothing for a few days until I end up on the other side of the dry spell.

I do something I wouldn't have dreamed of in my twenties or thirties. I step completely out of my comfort zone and ask my husband to take a photoshoot of me in some of my work clothes because after I wrote this post, my friend Shannon told me I should post pictures of some of my outfits. Knowing full well that I will cringe at the images because my stomach is flabby and I sometimes feel like the equivalent of the brown Dolly Parton.

Clearly at these times, I also ramble.

Top: Winner's this past summer, Cardi: Suzy Shier three years ago, Faux leather skirt and necklace: thrifted, Shoes: Marissa

I'm not sure what this look on my face is about. Possibly I was cold by this point. Or my feet hurt. If it comes to me I'll let you know.

Blouse and vest: thrifted, Pants: Smart Set, Shoes: Marissa. Child's shoe: Mexx

Sweater: Urban behaviour over five years ago, white sleeveless button down: Suzy Shier ages ago, Skirt: thrifted, Shoes: Le Chateau several years ago

Fashion blogs to my rescue

I think about my wardrobe a lot. I mean all the time.

Truth is, Monday comes in a hurry and it’s no small task coming up with five outfits for the work week. Five ensembles that make me feel good.
And thin.
Oh and confident
But comfortable too.
Modest, stylish, age-appropriate yet current.

Let me tell you, for me, this is a job in itself.

From the looks of my closet and jam-packed drawers you might think there shouldn’t be a problem. Shaune is of this mind set. He wears a shirt and tie to work every day in the winter and a golf shirt the company provides in the summer. Each morning he chooses from six or seven dress shirts, a dozen or so ties, and always pairs them with black pants. He then slips into his black loafers, company jacket and off he goes.

It’s just not that simple for me.

For one, I like clothes; I like them a lot. Finding an affordable dress in a flattering cut can improve my mood for an entire day. A new scarf gets me downright giddy. And also, I’m not evolved enough in social situations to feel wonderful on the inside even when I’m not happy with how I look on the outside. Don’t get me wrong, at home with the kids, sweats and a tee shirt suit me just fine. I’ve had some of my favourite  compliments on my lounge-wear.

But at work, the dress code is semi-casual. And although people have taken this to the outermost edges of its definition, sometimes to frightening places, I mostly wear dresses, skirts or pants, cardigans and blouses, heels or boots and always earrings, bangles and scarves should they be called for.

Lately though, I started feeling tapped out, wearing the same few items in very mainstream ways. Shopping for new stuff was the only way I could think to add depth to my get-ups but since daycare and before and after school programs are leaving us virtually penniless each month, I turned to the internet.

And it delivered.

I discovered the world of fashion blogs. Did you know there are stylish, savvy young women just giving away this information for free on their blogs? Talking about colour wheels and scarf tying? Posting daily pictures of what they’re wearing, shopping tips and how to take advantage of thrift stores?

Oh glorious day. I finally have a stylist!

But be warned my friends, most of these women are childless and thin. Most have not witnessed first-hand the ruins birthing babies can leave behind. Don't get caught up in Oh I'm not gonna look like that in those pants. Because I'll be honest, I did search for a 40ish, slightly chubby, short Bengali woman offering fashion tips but to my great disappointment came up empty.

Here are a few of my favourite sites.

Wendy's Lookbook - this enviously thin, beautiful woman also created several tutorials on youtube. I just love this one circulating on Pinterest.



Kendie everyday - I found Kendie's blog first. I love her taste and she shops in places even I could afford. And hooray, she also incorporates thrifted items into her outfits.

Good life for less - this lady offers great colour matching advice and I don't mean matchy-matchy.

Feathers and freckles - I am stunned (and inspired) by the amazing pieces this woman finds in thriftstores!

M loves M - I want to hate Mara because she's tall, gorgeous and put together, but I can't help but find her adorable.

9to5 chic - This woman's wardrobe is completely out of my price range but to-die-for nonetheless.