Monday, 12 March 2012

I got a haircut and other fascinating tidbits

A few days ago when my friend popped by with her toddler, I was on the verge of apologizing for the disaster-state of my house when I realized I’d just finished cleaning it only an hour before. I let go of my need to make excuses, hoped she wasn’t taking silent inventory of the Cheerios I’d missed with the vacuum.

And I was going to give you some long-winded explanation about how I didn’t have time to style my hair before Shaune turned into a paparazzi snapping these terrible pictures of me without warning. But the truth is, I did style it and not only that, I asked him to take some photos of my new haircut for my blog. Sadly these are the best he could do with what I gave him. What can I say? This is how I usually look, with a few rare days of good hair in between.

There’s a feeling that washes over me every few weeks – a feeling which never fails to bring me down. It’s a wagging finger during my busiest times, when balance is elusive, the demands of work and family leaving me exhausted, too spent to indulge in my art. It convinces me that I will never amount to anything writerly, that inspiration when ignored too many times will stop showing up.

It’s the same feeling I get sometimes when I catch a glimpse of my aging 40 year old self - a mix of well it could be worse meets Really - this is what doing my best to eat right and exercise gets me now?

I had hopes of editing the two books I wrote last year on maternity leave, making this blog a regular place you stop by for sweet little stories, inspiration. Back then, I imagined myself this well-rested, working mom, writing on the side, running the odd half marathon.

I’ve been back to work ten months and I have to tell you: It’s hard. This living and working and raising a family - it is hard work. And none of it looks like the picture you had in your head. You know the picture I’m talking about? The GQ corporate life followed by the sweet obedient vegetable-eating children snug in their beds so you can have a few hours to pursue your other self.

But when I watched this old Ted talk a few days ago (I think it was right about the time Oprah demanded we all read Eat Pray Love) where Elizabeth Gilbert discusses the notion of nurturing your creativity, I realized that I could change my mind. Art doesn’t have an expiry date. I could focus guilt free on what’s right in front of me, write when I could. I loved the story she told about Tom Waits – looking up at the heavens after getting some of his best song inspirations while driving on the highway.

Really? When I’m driving and can’t stop to write this down – this is when you’re [inspiration] going to hit me?


  1. First, the hair style looks great - how do you make it shine like that? I took a photo of the back of my head and my daughter's head to show our matching hair styles - I was embarrassed by my un-shiny hair and could not publish it on the blog.

    Secondly, I think you have things together far more than you think. Let me tell you - working outside the home doing my clinical rotations, even if it is only 36 hours a week is just about killing all of us and we know it's a short term thing. When I am actually working it will be for 16-20 hours a week. Even then I know we'll be doing a dance to make everything run smoothly at home.

    10 months into it - you are doing great. So true, art does not have an expiratory date but I do know if one does not nurture the gifts we have been given we will lose them. Take time for you when you can to do what you can - a little can go a long way.

    In the mean time, be proud of what you are doing and what your boys are seeing you do every day.

  2. "Back then, I imagined myself this well-rested, working mom, writing on the side, running the odd half marathon."
    Didn't we all, Sister! I am laughing out LOUD at the naivety!!
    Nice coiffure :) I am still rockin' the standard "I have 2 kids and 2 jobs and no time for myself ponytail"

  3. I like the hair cut!

    I think you're doing great. It is so hard to work full time and mom full time. I admire you :-)

  4. You've accomplished so much! I didn't even read two books while on maternity leave, much less write them.

  5. RIght there, you got it, "Art doesn’t have an expiry date." That is the plain truth. You will find your pace, you will your rhythm, I know it...xo my friend. ;)

  6. Beautiful post, Kim. Real life IS hard sometimes. We just do our best and hope for the best, and the rest just falls into place.
    I like your new hair cut, and the new header...the boys are looking so grown-up!

  7. Kim, I have one word for you after reading this beautiful post:


    Hugs-and just keep doing what you are doing because it matters to all of us who know you and love you:)

  8. Your hair looks great. You are beautiful.

    Your writing is something I truly look forward to reading b/c you write not out of obligation, not for comments or recognition, but truly from the heart.

  9. It's very hard. Impossible to do it all - don't let anyone tell you otherwise. So we just do the best we can, and learn to live with the imperfection of it all.

  10. This one is great it explains alot about my mom not taking all 6 of us shopping at one time usually only 2 or 3. I don't ever remember all 8 family members in a store at one time until our trip from Pa. to Wa. and 4 of us were teenagers. Pushchairs

  11. I would like to start by saying that your hair looks great.

    I also want to say how much I love this post. I always had the idea that I would be the corporate mom that had it all together; I don't. It is hard and sometimes all we can do is live the day to day.

  12. It's tough to try to do it all. Exhausting really. I commend you for all that you accomplish with your kids and all the love that you share in so many ways.

    The haircut is super CUTE!


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