Wednesday, 28 March 2012

When you're a blogger

I took a few weeks off.

Mostly it was because work and home have demanded all of me, but there was also a small part that had to do with the need to reconsider, rethink  and maybe even regroup (sometimes alliteration is irresistible - sorry).

What is the purpose of my blogging I began to wonder. What am I really sharing? Am I sharing too much? Am I sharing the right things? Am I adding value to the few dozen people who stop by here every week? Am I writing out of obligation? 

Have I lost my momentum?

And also, I thought long on this need we bloggers have - the need for comments, our primal need for feedback, for connection, to hear that we've been heard. I've realized that for a small-timer like me, my traffic is a two way street. The people who are kind enough to read my posts and take the time to comment, well they rightfully want the same from me. Often lately though, I can't get to my friends' blogs to read and comment. I just can't find the time. So I've contemplated shutting this down.

But the thought broke my heart.

Because although the friendships I've found here are wonderful and the constant feedback addictive, these have been only secondary to the true impetus of my blogging. These modern times have gifted me, a once closet writer, a platform to express my essayist heart.

I don't want to give that up.

I didn't not write over the last few weeks because I had nothing to say. I didn't write because I wondered if it was fair to expect my fellow bloggers to read my stuff when I knew for sure there was no way  I could take the time to go to their sites, read and comment on their posts. Something else on my list, something else I could feel like I was failing. This reality weighed on me.

It didn't feel authentic but it was the truth.

I thought about some of the bloggers I admire. There're lots and lots of them but the ones who came to mind inspired me. I thought about Ann and Jim who turn their comments off, write without the need for constant feedback.  I thought about Rae who writes beautiful honest stuff every week and even though I've never discussed this or anything else with her, I'd be willing to bet that feedback has nothing to do with why she writes. I thought about Kelle and Glennon - oh Glennon you slay me with your gorgeous thoughts -  Kelle and Glennon who write with purpose and so much love.  

And of course I thought about Heather who writes with a pioneer's fearlessness.

Yeah, I reconsidered, rethought and regrouped. But I'm not sure I reconcluded because the thing about blogging for me is that it's become part of my feel-good routine. 

Give quality me to my family.
Show up for work.
Go to the gym.
Write something you can share with the Internet.

So that's it friends, the space my mind has been stuck in. I just can't keep up even with blogging. And I almost turned comments off but the need to hear  your thoughts, to know if you are feeling the same about your blogs, well it was irresistible.


  1. I may not be a blogger, but I love, love, love visiting your site. Your honesty is heartwarming! Blog on my friend!!!

  2. I for one would be very sad if you didn't blog because I love reading your story. I don't care that you don't stop by my blog and comment. Not at all. I know where your heart is.

  3. As you know, I am not a serious writer as you are, but, I have struggled with the same blogger guilt lately. I started my blog as a scrapbook for my kids. It became something else. Sorta. I miss my blog friends, when I am short on time (like a LOT lately), and I feel guilty just posting about my stuff and not reading theirs. I picked a few faithfuls and make a point to visit and comment on theirs. It is also hard because I like to read in Google Reader and on my Blackberry, but you cannot comment from I have to remember to go back find the post, blah blah.
    Seriously, I understand your time constraints, and I, Kerri, grant thee, Kim, freedom from ever feeling obligated to comment on my blog again! I totally understand! :)) Now go be a great Mom and a fabulous writer! :)

  4. Oh, I am so glad you did not turn off comments. I feels good to be able to respond to something you write.

    At times I feel like I am going through the motions on my blog - but then I remember I am documenting things about my life and the lives of those in my family. I also enjoy going back and reading what we were doing and experiencing. Plus, the kids enjoy seeing themselves when they were tiny or hearing me read my words to them about them. I think they will treasure my words as they grow older. I think Deaglan and Naveen will feel the same. Imagine if one of them is inspired by your writing and wants to pursue that, too. Wouldn't you just feel so great knowing you had a part of that?

    Plus, I've just missed you. I'm glad you're back.

  5. I've been going through what you're going through as well. Why am I doing this? Would my time be better spent elsewhere? I don't have time to read all these blogs...I reminded myself of my original goals. I decided to start blogging to get exposure, to improve my writing, and to get more published by a "real" publisher (what that is, I don't know anymore).

    I'm glad you remembered your goals too. And it's always good to keep a bit of yourself to yourself when you're giving so much of your being to a family and children.

  6. Please don't shut down! You write so beautifully - I always enjoy reading your blog. I actually was wondering where you were yesterday. I started a new Kate Morton book (The House at Riverton) which made me think of you, and wonder what you'd been up to.

  7. I will always read your words... They're beautiful enough that I don't care about the rest of it. If you never read my posts again, or participate in commenting or whatever, I will come back here with every new post you publish. Your writing is soothing, and it's good for my soul...

  8. I would be heartbroken if your blog went silent. You inspire ME. I don't care if you ever visit or comment on my blog ever again. I look to your blog to stay grounded, especially when I get caught up in the numbers game of running my blog. reading your words keeps me real.

  9. I love reading your words, Kim. Don't stop blogging. I know the reason I started blogging was to document our memories. Not for the comments of others (although those are nice too). But when I get to feeling like you, I "mark all as read" with no guilt.

  10. Be gentle with yourself. I think all creative people go through ups and downs. I am learning that the comments are wonderful, but they shouldn't matter. What should matter is your writing, for YOU! I hope you decide to stay in bloggyland. From what I've read in your comments, you would be missed. xoxo

  11. It's funny that visited on this kind of post day. I have been absent for a while but I've thought about you and my other blogging friends often. I had to take a break but I love your posts. I can relate to almost everything you write and I love your honesty and open spirit. I'm so glad you here and I hope there is always this space to find you.

  12. I've tried to stay away, and I just can't. And I can't turn comments off, either, because I need the feedback.

  13. I love reading what you have to write. And sometimes it isn't about the comments you give back to people that matter but the people that will be here to support you no matter what. That is the real community.

  14. I really understand where you're coming from. I have been having similar feelings about blogging lately too. I'm trying to get back into it. Blogging has been good for me and I don't want to lose it. Maybe it's just time for me to sit back and think about a new way of focusing on the blog. I don't know, but I bet we will both figure it all out. Hugs!


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