Confessions of a breastfeeder over at Yummy Mummy

In honour of  World Breastfeeding Week I was delighted that Yummy Mummy published my post Confessions of a breastfeeder -the sequel on their site. If you get a chance, I'd love for you to say hi over there.

This is the last time I'll post twice in one day...I promise:)

On needing a bullet proof vest or better communication skills

I was bashed pretty good by a few commenters on Yummy Mummy for my post I wouldn’t be a good stay at home mom. I wrote it in hopes of being published specifically on this site for May’s topic – write about being a “bad” mommy. And since I’d been thinking non-stop about going back to work in the next few weeks, I realized that I wasn’t always a hundred per cent proud of my performance as a mother every day. I wrote it in an effort to convince myself that going back to work (which is not an option but a must for me) was for the best especially since I’d been lucky enough to have a year-long maternity leave with each of my sons.

Deaglan driving Grampa's "tractor" (riding lawn mower)

I entered motherhood thinking that I should strive to be a “supermom” but the experience of the last three and a half years woke me up to the truth that it’s more important to be a good mom. I wanted to be honest about how challenging being a stay-at-home mom was for me. That despite my best intentions, there were many times I didn’t get them outside on a snowy day, I fed them food out of a box, and let them watch more TV than I was comfortable with. In response to my post one reader wrote:

I'm all for women staying in the workforce for a myriad of reasons, but this article is sad. It's not that hard to make sure your kids get to play outside 90 minutes a day or to feed them a healthy meal. Sad that she would rather outsource spending time with her kids because she's too lazy to cut up some veggies and put some outdoor clothing on.

Sheesh!

I re-read my post to determine what I’d written to warrant such a conclusion. My limited experience in motherhood has taught me one thing that I carry with me every single day. That I have no idea what anyone else is going through and it’s not my place to judge. Before I was a parent I used to let slip (what I’m sure was beyond irritating to whoever was unfortunate enough to be listening, especially if they had small children themselves) gems like:

My children will be vegetable eaters because I will introduce them to veggies right from the beginning. If they don’t know about sugar and fat, how will they know to like it?

and

My kids will NEVER watch TV period.

I hereby give whoever had to listen to me back then permission to slap me.

Because obviously I'd not yet met my match – namely Deaglan W. McNamara, the KING of refusing to eat it unless it was sweet, salty or fried. I hadn’t thought that TV statement through especially since later I’d have a baby who slept for measly forty minute stretches throughout the livelong day and night which meant that for six months, the only sleep I would be getting would be an hour or two when my husband could relieve me.

Had I known that, I would have reconsidered saying something so slap-worthy.

But now that I am a little more well versed in the joys and demands of parenting, I try to keep my big mouth shut. I am certain that I know nothing about parenting the “right” way. I try only to speak about my experience.

This little heartbreaker turns one tomorrow!

 And I listen to the advice my Dad tried (but couldn’t) to post on my Yummy Mummy article: Staying at home may not make you a better mom and going to work may not make you a worse mom. Loving your kids will make you a great mom. Love dad

Thanks Dad. I know you’ve never heard me utter these words to you. But I think you may be right.

Naveen with Aunt Laura (my youngest sister)

This is me pouring my heart out with Shell early. I will be posting twice a week from now on. I hope you will keep coming back! Please, if you have any suggestions (posts too long, too short, too many pictures, not gossipy enough) let me know.

My article was published at Yummy Mummy

I've been submitting some articles to online and traditional magazines. I'm thrilled to tell you that the Canadian site Yummy Mummy - founded by Erica Ehm (remember her from Much Music in the eighties and nineties?) has published my recent post I wouldn't be a good stay at home mom.

Here's a bit about Yummy Mummy:

A superwoman who fits into her size 6 jeans three weeks after giving birth (by scheduled C-section of course)? A sexy mama who shops for groceries in heels, closing deals on her cell phone while waggling finger puppets to stimulate her baby's growing cerebellum? Give me a break!

Yummy is a state of mind.

A true Yummy Mummy struggles to find the impossible balance between the single sexpot she used to be, the woman she's become, the professional she works hard to be, the wife she aspires to be and the mother she has to be. Basically, she's confused and exhausted.

Forget CEO. THIS is the toughest job in the world. Why didn't anyone warn us? Can you relate?

Then Welcome to the Yummy Mummy Club....So, what's this club thing all about? It's a place where you can celebrate and commiserate the rollercoaster ride of modern mummydom, win great prizes, find books to stimulate your brain and read eclectic and cheeky articles written for and by other yummy mummies...because mummy needs to play too. We're unabashedly un-exclusive.

If you have...
a) kids
b) guilt
c) no time for yourself
d) all of the above
... then, you're in!I didn't realize it would be such a controversial topic - okay maybe I did a little. If you have time to head over there, make sure you read the comments. You'll notice that I've rubbed a few people the wrong way. I would love for you to leave a comment if you can. 



Thank you, as always for taking the time to read my blabbering. You have no idea how much it means to me!

Comments off.

Ten: Part one

Ten more things about me

1. The remains of Judge, our dog, sit on a shelf in our closet – he was cremated almost four years ago.

2. I grind my teeth and should be wearing my night guard. And also, but possibly not related, I experience several moments of sheer terror every few days about the fact that I’m telling the internet my business on this blog...in case you were wondering. I get over it rather quickly though.

3. The song Bobbyjean by Bruce Springsteen makes me want to cry and I don’t even know why. I was in grade ten the first time I heard it.

4. When I get a compliment on something I’m wearing – I blurt out the price. Because I only shop clearance. And I’m usually pretty impressed with my bargain-hunting skills.

5. I’m most productive in the morning, in the springtime and when I have a deadline.

6. I can’t stand avoiding an issue. If something is upsetting, if I’ve hurt someone, if they’ve wronged me, I need to talk about it so it’s not bubbling inside me.

7. Our sponsored child’s name is Sabina and she lives in Bangladesh. I wish I could sponsor ten more kids.

8. I love kijiji, garage sales and flea markets. I feel certain that my days of buying new are almost over. Incidentally, I begged Shaune to stop at the side of the road last week and pick up a coffee table someone was throwing out. It’s now the footboard for our bed. My plan is to sand and paint it. I’m not sure how Shaune feels about it; he’s hit his shin on it every night since.

9. I read to my boys every single night. Even when I don’t want to. And I take a page from Dora and ask Deaglan what his favourite part of the day was. I’m pretty proud of this.

10. I say small prayers all throughout the day. It helps me stay conscious and present. And not related but just because I wanted to fit it in, I’ve been really grossed out by red meat lately. But likely related, I’ve been scheming of ways to stay healthier so I can be nimble and spry when my boys give me grandchildren. I’m an older mom you know.

Please come back for Ten:Part two on Sunday.

 

Define the term writer

When I told Shaune that Erin (my friend I hosted the shower for) asked me to be MC as well as a bridesmaid at her upcoming wedding, he looked worried and said you know, MC's are supposed to be funny and make the wedding guests laugh right?

Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence honey. I knew what he was getting at though. Erin said she was asking me not only because I've known her and Wes their entire relationship but also because she enjoys reading my blog and thinks I might do a good job. To quote one of the things she said: I cry like a blubbering idiot reading some of your posts. 

I'm sorry Erin for posting this - I know none of us liked these pictures of ourselves:) Erin is second from the left - a group shot of the bridal party.

But not all my posts are sad, right? Sometimes I manage to make you giggle, don't I?

See, that's the thing about putting myself out there. Writing is one thing but writing always to an audience whether it's one person or 30, makes my stomach ache when I really think about it. I'm the most sensitive person Shaune's ever met (a direct quote). I worry what people will think all the time after I hit publish. Sometimes when I get a slightly negative comment, I want to pull the post and find safety again. But then a few days later, the compulsion to write, to blab about my life, to share what's going on here in The Child zone takes over and I'm at it again.

Last week two friends (who I adore) on two separate occassions said something about my writing that I've been mulling over almost constantly since. Oh the mature, logical part of me knows that they meant it as a compliment (you did right?) but the insecure, who-do-I-think-I-am-even-considering-calling-myself-a-writer, this-will-never-amount-to-anything, I-should-just-let-the-real-writers-write part of me has taken that one little comment and turned it into a natural disaster.

Anyway, I wasn't sure whether to post this or not. The over-thinking-loony me was like - what's the big deal, nobody cares. But the part of me that loves writing, that wants to be published, that yearns to be heard, has something to tell you: I'M GOING TO BE PUBLISHED!!!!!

Okay, now that I've said it, let me manage your expectations. It really is no big deal. I'm one of many, many writers in an anthology called About Her: Stories of Grace, Grit, Grievance and Gratitude. If you've been stopping by for the last few years, you've likely read my post called Dove. It's up there under the heading Some of my favourite posts.

The book is due out in April and will be available through Amazon. I won't be profiting from sales but have to say it is kind of thrilling to be included. I'll keep you posted.