A few last things

The last couple of days, after the rounds of Christmas parties (we hosted three this year!), Christmas itself – with endless piles of new toys for the kids (where will we put them all?!) have been warm and comforting in our pyjamas all day if we want, nothing to do but eat, watch TV, and play Candy Land.

I baked with the kids yesterday, the kind of baking I can really rally behind – add softened butter, contents of package, water and stir; today I’ve thrown almost all caution to the wind, Deaglan has helped himself to at least five  palm-sized chocolate chip cookies before even 10 am without even a teeny lecture from me.  Naveen has watched episode after episode of Toopy and Binoo on my tablet, navigating the way with his fingertips. A two year old who knows his way around such complex gadgets. It’s the way of the world, I know, yet I’m still constantly amazed. Me, who earned an honours degree in university with just my typewriter.

Shaune and I have been sick for the last week; sinus issues and chest trouble. We’re trying to figure the most strategic way to get the kids sick and healthy before we go back to work next week. I’ve been kissing them full on the lips, breathing on them every chance I get. Wouldn’t you know it they are healthy as cats for a change.

Last night Deaglan and I watched the Chronicles of Narnia – he for the first time. I explained that I’d watched the animated version every year as a kid and then read the books when I was about nine or so. He asked me at least 435 questions and as mildly irritating as it was I was reminded of Matthew. He’d fire question after question during any show we’d be watching so that all of us older kids had to take turns of telling him to shut up and watch what happens next.

The memory of it was so clear that I grabbed at patches of patience when I could and answered Deaglan’s questions. Ma, what’s a half man half horse called? Let me Google it because I think it’s albatross but I think I’m wrong – yep here it is Centaur. (Resist urge to explain to five year old how remarkable today’s technology is because in my day we’d have to take a stab at looking it up in the dictionary – a big heavy book made of paper). 

Is the witch afraid of Aslan? 

Yes and No. 

Why does the witch ride around in a sled? 

She just does. 

Is Aslan really dead? 

Just wait and watch! 

And on and on.

Also, I’ve been thinking some on how I hate that Naveen will be three in 2013, technically not a baby anymore. And I wish I could bottle up the way he says Dora the Explorer– Doe-ah tha Expo-ah, and how he periodically tells me he wants to pretend he is a baby so that I have to hold him like I used to when he was an infant, cradled in my arms while he says “ga-ga, goo-goo” because that’s how babies talk.

And I have been wishing that I’d thought to include some other things in Deaglan’s birthday letter things like:

• He’s one of my favourite people to hang with – maybe stating the obvious I know but still
• I hate that he realized the correct term was speed limit not speed lemon as he’d previously thought for a long time
• If you ask him what his favourite thing about Christmas is he’ll say it’s spending time with his family – originally he’d said the presents were his favourite part but changed his mind after I told him the right answer. Oh the power of parenting the very, very young.

This evening I’m going to run my first 10K race.  I wish it was a morning run but it starts at five. Then we’ll celebrate New Year’s Eve with some lobster, scallops and champagne. We’re sick and will likely be in bed by ten the latest. We got hats and blowers for the kids. It promises to be a real party. I’ll let you know how my run goes.  

Oh and Happy New Year!

We celebrated Deaglan's birthday (for the 48th time this month) with Shaune's family.

I had to include this shot of me because it's a pretty accurate portrayal of my reaction when Shaune breaks out the camera. I think this might have been Christmas Eve night when I realized I wasn't feeling well and there were a hundred things to do (assemble toys, fill stockings etc) before I could go to bed.

Sick days

I had to sneak a run in early this morning before Shaune headed to work at ten to seven. It was beautiful and fresh outside; I had the mild spring morning mostly to myself except for a few commuters. I’m not much of a runner but I love it. And as I ran my course, up small hills, down  to their valleys, I thought how nice it would be when  I didn’t get called out of work regularly because the kids were vomiting or burning with fever. I looked forward to a time when the feelings of conflicting guilt these work-from-home sick days induced – the kids watching too much TV and me not getting enough work done,  a day when this would be a thing of the past.

I ran my slow steady pace, went where each song took me.

I rolled my eyes, smiling when Shaggy’s  Angel came on remembering a different time in our story. Shaune and me in the midst of one of our dramas, broken up but still friends, a day when he came over to my tiny one bedroom apartment, threw the new CD into my player and told me this song reminded him of me:

Girl, you're my angel, you're my darling angel 
Closer than my peeps you are to me, baby 
Shorty, you're my angel, you're my darling angel 
Girl, you're my friend when I'm in need, lady...

Girl, in spite of my behavior, well, you are my savior
(You must be sent from up above)
And you appear to me so tender, well, girl I surrender
(Said thanks for giving me your love)  

I’m not sure I was hip enough to know that shorty was a term of endearment – I likely went with it because well, I’m 5’2”. 

Panting up another hill, the Black Eyed Peas bring me back to the present and I am resenting  all those urban myths of parenting, the things you hear and desperately cling to, even when the evidence to the contrary is laughing in your face. Blatant lies like breastfeeding helps you lose weight or if your first child isn`t a good sleeper, your second child will have a healthy dose of narcolepsy.  And this one, the one that has me trying to pinpoint the fibber who planted this seed in the first place: that once your toddler strengthens his immune system in that first year of daycare by chronically being sick, he`ll never be sick again.

Down around a winding slope Cold Play fills me with hope and I promise myself to make this early morning run a regular thing when the kids don't need me so much. I reach our front door, and I can hear both boys awake. I'm greeted as if I've been gone for a year and I see that Naveen’s Hand-Foot-and- Mouth rash seems a  little less hazardous looking. 

 I honestly don't know why I ask Deaglan to smile for a picture because every single time this is what I get. You can see the rash around Naveen's mouth  - this picture was taken on Sunday. Today the rash makes it look as if he feasted on strawberries and chocolate last week. And we left his face unwashed. And if anyone from the daycare is reading this - we plan on returning Minnie Mouse to you just as soon as we can pry it out of Naveen's iron grip.

We've been sick

Before kids I was almost never sick. Really. And if I was, I could bury myself under a blanket and watch movies all day until I either had to go back to work or I felt better.

I was thinking about this all last week while with a throbbing head and clogged sinuses I tried everything under the sun to relieve the kids' discomfort and bring down their fevers. Naveen kept clawing at me as if to say make it stop Mommy. And Deaglan was very articulate in letting me know that his body hurt, his neck ached, and even that his mouth didn't feel good.

We were almost out of the woods but then Deaglan caught it again. High fever, body aches, runny nose. Around and around.

It hasn't been all phlegm and headaches though. Naveen is almost crawling. He's doing that thing where he uses his arms to drag his body to his destination. And Deaglan is his usual charming self. Here are a few things he's said that I want to remember from these days:

• Mommy, you're a really good friend to me.
• But I already washed my hands with my mouth.
• This truck is broken, it needs to go to a garage sale.
• When my sister asked him what Naveen wanted for Christmas he told her: Just milk, Naveen likes milk.
• When Santa comes for your birthday Mommy, you can ask him for a present.

I hope you are all well my friends and be assured that I will be making my rounds to your wonderful blogs to catch up on what you've been up to!

God woke me up

I've been soooooooo tired and feeling unbelievably nauseated and that's why I haven't posted lately. I'm sure some of you have guessed that I am pregnant. I'm only about nine weeks along and sadly already almost into maternity clothes. My body seems to have been just waiting for this chance to pop back into form. And as I had imagined, it is tricky business being pregnant with a busy toddler.

Oh and the busy toddler? He's been sick too. On Tuesday we stood in line for the H1N1 vaccine - here in Canada they are offering it to high risk groups first. Since Deaglan is between six months and five years he fit into this category. So with a little planning on Shaune's part we were able to get through the line-up within an hour. I was going to brag about this to all of you but then the events of a few days later changed my mind. Back to that in a minute.

That night after he was vaccinated, he developed a low-grade fever. We were warned that this might happen so I gave him some Motrin and tucked him into bed. I did my usual check a few hours later to make sure he had enough blankets and wasn't hanging off of the side of his bed and his temperature was fine.

At two in the morning I woke up out of a very sound sleep to music playing through the baby monitor. It was the first song on a CD that Deaglan falls asleep to every night (some lovely lullabies on a Fisher Price CD). I looked at the alarm clock to see if maybe our power had gone out making everything restart when it came back. Nope. I felt paralyzed. There was no good reason that the music would be playing. Deaglan would have had to find his step-stool in the dark and find the play button for this to make any sense. The CD player was new - just two months old. Stupid, scary thoughts raced through my mind. Kidnapping. But what kind of a kidnapper presses play before leaving?? I pulled my act together and went into Deaglan's room.

Everything was in order. Except that my little monkey boy was burning up with fever. I ran downstairs for some ice water and baby Tylenol. I barely slept after that checking on him every hour or so. I called in sick for the next two days - I have a wonderful understanding employment situation. By 2:30 that following afternoon, I packed us up and headed to Emergency. I couldn't keep the fever down alternating between Tylenol and Motrin every three hours. We were there for several hours. And every time someone would come by the bed to take Deaglan's temperature or check his other vitals he would cry and say All done, all done.

I think he's on the mend now. God works in mysterious ways though don't you think??

I've got all the answers

We've had some time off this past week. Canada Day falls on a Wednesday so both Shaune and I used some vacation time to take advantage of an extra long weekend. I have nothing remarkable to post about but here are some of my random observations about life since last Thursday:

• While at the emergency room today (we took Deaglan in for what we thought could be something troublesome but it ended up being nothing - thank God) I noticed that Triage is a bittersweet concept. On the one hand we were completely relieved that our case did not warrant being moved to the head of the line. I mean we tore out of the house in a disoriented panic and concluded from the reaction of the emergency staff that maybe the situation wasn't as dire as we'd thought. But then we had to sit and wait on a tiny cot for two hours trying to contain a boisterous 18 month-old who, although gave us enough of a scare earlier to drop what we were doing and get to the hospital, showed no signs of illness whatsoever and whose energy level seemed to multiply as soon as we entered the emergency room. I had to remind Shaune that it was a good thing that they were treating the most severe cases first and that we were blessed to be considered low priority.

• Vacations last longer when you aren't running around doing vacation type things. We didn't go anywhere or get anything major done. A few times we thought out loud about going to the beach (about an hour away) or to Ikea (about an hour and a half away) but then it would start raining or one of us would feel like taking a nap and we'd agree that we were fine just hanging around. It's been nice.

• I don't think it's right that toddler toy companies make profits. As far as I'm concerned whoever made my old wallet and our dust pan should be the ones raking in the fortunes. When I need to distract Deaglan and catch a few minutes break I just pull out our dust pan - it's one of those that has a long handle like a broom. He literally squeals with delight at the sight of it. Throw in my old wallet and a set of keys and I could run some errands and he wouldn't even know I was missing. Clearly I wouldn't leave him alone but it does make me wonder how well these million dollar toy companies really know their demographics. Imagine the money they could save in building materials. I could just see it - "we'll take these old boxes and empty toilet paper rolls and call it a "Building set" and charge $75.00".

Anyway, nothing spectacular to report - just some random and silly thoughts.

Has anyone seen my integrity?

Well I did it. I crossed the line from being idealistic mom to do-whatever-it-takes-to-get-the-job-done mom. I mixed Deaglan's antibiotics with vanilla ice cream to get him to take it.

And I don't feel as sinister as I thought I might.

After wearing most of the dose to work this morning - penecillin and violet sheer don't go as well as you might think - I brainstormed all day, a plan to pull the wool over my own child's eyes.

Go ahead. Throw your stones. Tell me that the properties of the antibiotics become ineffective when mixed with sugar (okay please do tell me if you think this could be true - I'm not as fearless as I'm trying to seem right now), judge me harshly if you must. I can take it.

Without warning

I took a blog break. I didn't follow any of the rules usually required of a week long break from the other parts of my life.

At work I would've needed to book the time off, get approval and make sure my work was done or at least being done by someone else on my team. At home I would have needed to find someone to look after the kid and the cat.

But I didn't make any arrangements. I didn't give you warning, or a guest blogger or even a hint as to when I was going to reappear.

Sorry.

It was just that Deaglan had an ear infection. And I had high fevers and headaches. And Shaune had his wisdom teeth pulled. And the cat, um. Okay there was nothing wrong with the cat but he didn't make it any easier with the ears, the teeth and the fevers. And usually I would at least read your posts to find out what was going on in your lives. But I didn't. And I really couldn't. But I will. Because now I'm back.

Trying

I've been trying to write a post for a few hours now. Deaglan is sick again and has been waking up about every 15 minutes to half our since 7:30. Letting him cry it out just isn't an option when he's this sick. I won't lie, I look forward to the precious few hours after I put him to bed as me time. A glass of wine, dinner with Shaune, maybe a good show on tv, maybe some time on the computer.

But we've been to the doctor three times this week. Once for pink eye, once for a sore throat and cold (the daycare said he refused to eat or drink anything on Tuesday) and tonight for an ear infection.

All I can say is that I am very grateful that we have healthcare and my heart breaks for those parents that don't. I also have a benefit plan through work which covers a substantial portion of all prescribed medicine. We are so very lucky.

A friend and colleague of mine said something so profound to me the other day that I just have to share it here. She travelled to Korea to teach English for a year a while back and I think the experience really changed her. She said the experience made her realize that pure luck was responsible for the circumstances we are each born into. Isn't that so true! What makes me more deserving of this abundant life than any one of the millions of hungry and homeless people in this world?

I found this today and it made me smile. I wanted to leave it here for you (especially all of you moms out there). Send it out if you get the chance. I did today and I received some delighted phone calls and emails from moms I know.

Before you go calling the authorities

I've been sick all week. It's been a real drag. I missed work. I missed all of your blogs. I missed doing fun things outside with Deaglan. I missed doing housework - okay no I didn't. But looking around today I wished I had done a little something so that I didn't have to face this mountainous cleaning job ahead of me.

Shaune did the best he could. Yesterday he came into the house from the backyard without the baby. From the look on his face I knew he was up to something he thought was pretty hilarious.

"Where is he?"

"Outside."

"Okay, I give up, where did you put him?"

"You'll have to come and see."

And sure enough, when I walked outside, there was Deaglan in the deck box.

"Get it? It's a Deck Box?"

"Yes, I get it, good one."

Poor kids

Deaglan
A double ear infection, tonsilitus, a terrible cough and cold, four molars sprouting and now this! Last night Deaglan took a face-first dive into the bottom edge of our side table. He's just learning to run. The swelling has gone down this morning as you can see. I guess I could have taken a picture of it last night but that could be considered some sort of abuse couldn't it? My child has nearly broken his face and I'm trying to get a good shot of it for my blog...

Shaune
Shaune usually has Fridays and Sundays off. This week he had to not only put his usual 45 plus hours in, but also had to go in on Friday for several hours and Saturday night after working his regular shift. Then this morning he had to go in two hours early to help out. To top it off when he asked Deaglan if he could have a kiss, Deaglan just shook his head.

Sick and tired

Deaglan is sick again/still. We made it through two full weeks of work for me and daycare for him. Then on Thursday his daycare teachers told me that he just hadn't been himself all day. I admit I dropped him off that morning knowing full-well that he was probably sick.

Experience has taught me to change tactics. When I first went back to work I would drop everything if he sniffled or had a questionable poop. But now I find myself talking him out of possible ailments. Shaune's pretty good at this too. "He didn't technically throw-up" one of us will confirm. Or "He's teething and that would explain the loose stool" we will say, convincing each other.
Then all day long a feeling of dread every time my work phone rings.

Having a sick kid all the time is hard. Neither one of us is particularly pleasant without any sleep (one of us less pleasant than the other but I won't point any fingers). The lack of sleep also leads to a lack of quality in everything else. For instance yesterday was a beautiful day. I just had no energy to do anything. I vaguely entertained the idea of taking the baby to the park to get fresh air but the prospect of changing out of my pyjamas and bundling him up somewhat quickly banished the thought. Even the thought of posting on my blog tired me out.

Last night was another long and sleepless night. It reminds me of the first several weeks after Deaglan was born. Shaune and I were nervous wrecks not knowing what we were supposed to be doing. A few times in the last couple of weeks Shaune has said without the least bit of humour - "I don't want to have another one". I meant to argue with him but I was just sooooo tired!

Fever

Since Deaglan started daycare, he has been sick almost everyday. I'm not exaggerting. And I know that it is actually very good for him - I've heard a thousand testimonials from other parents swearing that once they pass this "immunity building" stage, kids rarely get sick ever again. My back-to-work schedule has come in handy since I work from Tuesdays to Fridays. Today Deaglan was really sick with very high temperatures. I called telehealth and they told me that what I was doing was right (giving him lots of fluids and tylenol and motrin to bring down the fever) but there were times when I contemplated taking him into emergency. His fever came down and I was able to bathe him and put him to bed. But there was something that I noticed about him that had me again realizing just how much we can learn from babies. There was no drama to his illness. As soon as he felt even a tiny bit better, he was up and playing, laughing and chasing the cat. So in the moment. So all about joy.